2 Bitches with a Blog

My Newest Ebay Purchase :)

2008-09-15T15:23:00.005-05:00

So its no secret that I adore makeup so after seeing a bunch of reviews on these mega eye shadow palettes I took the plunge and got one... It took 3 weeks to get here but it finally arrived today yay!

I tested out some colors on my hand and WOW are they highly pigmented. A little goes a long way with these... I cant wait to test out some of these crazy colors... It cost me approx $30 CDN but since im trying to start my makeup collection it was worth it :)

Although each color is only the size of a dime its ok because they have so much pigment you can use less and there is a good mix of shimmers and mattes which is nice.. Ill test out some looks and post pics in the next few days for you all :)

If you want to order this pallet just search for 120 eye shadow palette on ebay.com :)

Went to the Grocery store and all i saw was......

2008-09-12T10:17:00.002-05:00

HALLOWEEN CANDY!!! OMG its fall already :(

In light of this realization i will now post some strange, funny & unusual halloween costume pics!

Take a look at this Bubble bath gone SO wrong....

This one is brilliant LOL...

This one is So creative...

WTF?!!

Ok but in all seriousness i want a reason to dress up this halloween so im thinking about hosting a party at my place... we shall see... i need cute costume ideas... i wanna do crazy makeup this year....

Things you shouldnt say to random people....

2008-09-11T14:24:00.003-05:00

Dont you just LOVE when people feel the need to come up to you and tell you you look tired or ask have you been crying? your eyes look puffy.... NO i wasnt crying but i think i might go ball my eyes out or stab them with a ball point pen now THANKS!!

Telling someone you dont know well that they "look tired" is almost, ALMOST as bad as asking someone if they a pregnant without knowing 100% if they are! Just dont do it... ask a third party if you must but NEVER ask directly... do all of us a favor and keep that shit to yourself!

This message has been brought to you by the letters F and U again thats F-U....
:)

Yes im still Alive!

2008-09-09T10:47:00.002-05:00

I kinda sorta forgot about this blog lol..
lifes just been one thing after another.. sigh
The summer has come and now almost gone and it SO wasnt the summer i had hoped for but whatever..

Ive been thinking a lot lately.. maybe just maybe im ready to admit that i actually "look" for faults in the men i date... I realized this because since i broke up with the long distance ex over a year ago ive been on a string of dates, actually had a few multiple dates with some and made an active effort to get myself out there to meet new ppl and somehow here i am STILL single! I must admit that 99% of me being single is my doing... I find myself looking for what these guys are doing wrong on the first or second date... geez how did this happen?

I feel like im just so jaded by all my other experiences that i dont know how to give anyone a chance. I feel like im protecting my heart before they can hurt it or not allowing myself to get attached for fear that it will end anyway....

Im in a pretty weird emotional state right now... i dont know what to think anymore.. sigh

A Moment In Passing

2008-06-16T15:16:00.002-05:00

Ive waited years for a moment like this..
years for a moment with YOU...
the feeling of knowing everything will be ok,
Its arrived... we had a moment..
and now that moment is gone...

Did you mean what you said? what was unspoken?
Did your eyes mean what they said as they looked into mine..
no words needed it seemed..
Why am i left second guessing a moment i thought so true?
Why do you want this, me, if you cant follow through?

So i sit and i wait,
as i always have for you..
for you to decide what a big boy wants....

Random Thursday

2008-05-29T13:48:00.003-05:00

Yesterday i went out for dinner with my gf who also just ended her situation for a "bah we dont need em anyway" meal... The wine was flowing the stories were told and then the waiter came around and asked... "so what are you two celebrating tonight".. we kinda just stopped and looked at each other and then my gf blurted out "bashing MEN!" we busted out laughing although he kinda looked really scared lol..
He was cute though.. big blue eyes...

Lawyer dude asked me out to lunch tomorrow.. last time he bailed so im not holding my breath... Handy man wants to do something tonight but i have to work on my school project so thats out..

You know whats actually quite amusing to read.. the singles ads on kijiji.ca they go something like this...
Hot Indian guy looking for any indian lady single or married and bored.. call me 555-555-5555.... With a classic pic of his oily side parted hair and shiny orange shirt.... like the bad guy in a really bad bollywood movie!

I mean if you are posting your number and a pic like thats you gotta expect crank calls bud.. based on your pic and the flower drapes in the back you still live with your mama.. not one of your best moves huh!

You know these sure do cheer you up when your in a bad mood... try it sometime...

Easy Come Easy Go......

2008-05-28T12:14:00.003-05:00

Annnnd another one bites the freakin dust!!
The new dude is no longer in the picture.. He was 2 busy, i was never a priority and quite frankly im sick of waiting around or having to tell ppl how to treat me soo i gently let him go...something tells me he wasnt too upset by it all though..

If you havent already heard the song Soulmate by natasha beddingfield i seriously suggest youtubing it...

I cant catch a break in the dating world it seems... and so my soap opera of a life continues!

In other news im going to see Boyz II Men for the 3rd time in July YAY and i got a raise today sooo.. lifes not all bad lol...

Trying to stay positive here ppl...

Monday Blahs

2008-04-28T10:35:00.002-05:00

Im so ridiculously tired today wow! I cant even think straight right now.. So dude left for Cancun saturday with his boys... Im sure hes having a blast while i sit here watching the rain and the gray skies... Hes probably partying every night till 4am then laying on the beach till 6pm and meeting all kinds of people... girls to be specific i mean it IS cancun... BUT im trying not to think about this too much no one needs to see a paranoid QB!

Things will change this summer i can feel it... good, bad,ugly? who knows but change is in the air!

argh im 2 tired to write more...

Eww Could it be?!

2008-04-11T15:32:00.002-05:00

Well ladies and gents....

Im sad to say that i have given in to that stupid thing called emotions!! I decided back in Nov to get out there and start dating again after being single since July. I wanted to have fun, meet new ppl, let loose and maybe boost my ego a little (WHAT like yall havent done it!) So i signed up on one of those trendy dating sites and off i went.... I met about 6-7 total guys most being either duds or just not my type except 1. We chatted maybe twice on the phone but each times had amazing conversations most of which contained joke after joke and then i set up a meet & greet... Well needless to say the date went great he was fun, adorable and a total gentleman and its now been almost 4 months worth of dating..

Whats the problem you ask? Well its been close to 4 months and i have little idea how he feels.. i mean i KNOW hes interested, he wouldnt want to hang out if he wasnt but we have never really talked about where we stand and although im pretty afraid to commit agian and dont want a title to this madness id at least like to know that its possibly heading there... He made a comment in early march after i returned from a 2 week vacation that he saw us working towards a relationship... yeah ok fine thats cool i thought but progression would be nice! Im all for taking it slow i mean ive been really trying to go with the flow.. i should be happy that things are great thus far and not mess them up by wanting to have an answer but its that insecure side of me that needs to know...

Heres the funny thing im dying to know yet im not sure that i even want a title or full out commitment myself... im scared to get hurt again, im scared the man will turn into an ass by the 6th month like the rest.. I guess its still a game, i want to know hes more into me then i am into him... wow i cant believe that just came outta my mouth.. i so thought i was over games but i guess we never really stop playing them huh...

Alright i need a self pep talk....
QB things are fine the way they are dont mess em up by wanting & needing to know everything... Dont be a crazy girl!

Serenity Now!!

Ok crazy rant over and out!

Closure...

2008-04-07T16:30:00.003-05:00

hello ya'll its been a while. sowwy QB!!!

So here is what im annoyed at... men! of course what else. if there are any men reading this let me give you a few pointers in dating. women would REALLY appreciate it...

Don't date unless you have time for it
Don't intorduce us to your parents if you don't want anything serious
Don't say you aren't interested in dating other people when clearly you are
Don't stop calling without any explanation
Don't keep a problem to yourself - talk about it
Don't only think of yourself

DO have enough balls to wanna end something instead of leaving me thinking: what just happened????

I mean really is there a point to not calling because quite frankly, when i say ill call you back, what i mean is.... I'LL CALL YOU BACK!!! i mean i know that women mature faster than men, but when ya get into your 30's its just expected that you are at that mental level to be able to handle relationships. as women, what we really want is closure. It may be a little difficult to understand but we actually want you to just be straight up and say, "hey you know what this is just not working for me" or "let's go our seperate ways". you know what my response would be: ok, no problem best of luck to ya. some women might wanna know why, and i mean give them what they want. in their eyes things are going perfect and there are no issues so maybe they want some justification. That uncomfortable feeling that comes with the explanations will only last for as long as the conversation. after that you can have a guilt-free conscience and the woman can get on with her life. its a win win!

when you dont give any reasons, the woman is thinking, my god, i hope he is ok, did he get into an accident? what could it be?!!! never for one minute thinking he just isnt interested because you haven't given her the impression you aren't into it, on the contrary u keep saying how you really like her.

bottom line guys, just be honest and stop being so selfish!!! gosh..

as a side note if you are a guy reading this and you havent done any of the things ive just talked about then sorry for the generalization. if you have then for gods sake stop!!!

as for the girls who have gone through this, ill tell you what a very close friend of mine told me to say to myself: NEXT!

CB

2008 holla!

2008-03-11T12:57:00.002-05:00

Ok the other 3 bitches have dropped off the face of the earth in terms of blogging and so did i.... lets see 2008.... a whole new year for drama, change, laughter, tears and well bitchyness!

So far 08's been good to me.. i wouldnt say great but at this point ill take good! Went to Mexico in Jan to start the year off right... although the trip was good times it was damn cold... i didnt leave the piles of snow and winter jackets to go to mexico only to long for my winter jacket but whatever we survived...
Then came my 29th bday.. wow what a night prob one my my best bdays yet!
Feb brought the dreaded valentines day.. however this year i was taken out to lunch by one guy, got a teddy bear and flowers from another AND.... ready for it.... a package all the way from the other side of the country from the EX!! expected nothing and got 3! Lucky me you are thinking..... yeah well the lunch was ok, the teddy bear and flowers loved it.. but the package from the ex which btw contained scented candles, chocolates, candy & real flowers... was a bit over whelming considering we hadnt talked since nov... anyway thats a whole other ish...

After vday i left for my trip overseas for my brothers wedding... AMAZING time was had by all and on my route back home i had a 1.5 day stop over in my ex's city so i thought id call and say hi maybe go for coffee.... BAD move.. since ive been back hes been all over it again!... argh i just cant entertain those thoughts right now... im dating other ppl and having a blast doing so i dont want to go down that road again... not now...

Anyway i was back for all of 4 days when i was struck with strep freakin throat!!! So here i sit cooped up in my apartment all by my lonesome cuz apparently im contagious since last wed... today is the first day i feel better after being put on stronger meds but im going bonkers at home... Hopefully ill be out and about by this weekend... i need some human interaction!!!

Hows that for a 3 month sum up?! ;) Does anyone still read this??? hollaaaa....

As Snowflakes fall...

2007-12-13T13:17:00.000-05:00

I look outside, big fat chunks of beautiful snowflakes fall slow then fast down to the ground and all i can think is where has the time gone...

Its almost 2008.. im almost 29... im still searching, still uncertain of where im going or when i will finally be settled...

Ah well enough of that sappy shit let me update you all on my soap oprah...

Ok so lets start with the ex situation.. yeah he was still calling, texting and emailing in hopes of getting something, anything from me... I wanted to be friends and although i knew we couldnt be i had a hard time letting go of the attention and the idea that someone really cared... so this went on until almost a month ago when i finally said enough.. he wanted to get back together i told him it would never work and on top of it all we live so far apart.. he freaked out and wouldnt take no for an answer so i said something i probably would never do but just to shut him up i said well the only way i could see you again is if i can see other ppl too cuz i dont want a bf i only see 12 times a year... well i didnt think it was that mean at the time but judging from his reaction well he thought otherwise... he was really hurt and we said our goodbyes and i have not heard a peep outta him since...

A part of me is missing him, missing the attention, missing the fact that i know someone wants to be with me but at the same time i dont think he would have stopped any other way. I wanted to be friends but it wasnt possible, i want to be able to pick up the phone and say hi but i know i cant, i want the idea of giving this another shot but i know it would never work.... so here i sit wanting to talk to him or the idea of him but knowing i can never contact him for my own sanity! *sigh*

In other news.. ive decided i need to start dating again and turned to the ever so wonderful world of internet dating.. HEY its worked for tons of ppl i know so shush....so ive been on a few dates... yeah ok let me break it down.. the first guy turned out to be a total perv and wanted to get in my pants so needless to say he never got a second date.. the second guy is really chill and funny but has now gone away for 6 weeks travelling.. we had 2 dates so who knows where that will go.. the third guy seemed a bit more into it but is also a bit wishy washy and im not so sure hes really my type for a long term thing.. he is cute and does make me laugh and ive seen him maybe 5-6x already but i see things tapering off soon... the forth guy well yeah no chemistry what so ever.. im talking to a few more and who knows if ill go out on a date with them or not but quite frankly im not looking for anything serious i just want to meet new ppl and see where it goes.. so we shall see

Ive also managed to drop about 22lbs total since i started trying and am holding steady.. id like to drop another 10 before my brothers wedding but we shall see... I got back about a month ago from my travels in asia and india and had a blast except for the part where i got deathly sick.. but anyway.. im planning on hitting a beach for a week long vacation in early january so that should be fun i NEED to get away!

So there you go loyal bitches.. my life update in a nutshell!

Oh before i leave i have one thing to bitch about... WHY do ppl insist on driving slow in the fast lane??? Just because the speed limit is 80km and you are going 81km doesnt mean you should stay your ass in the fast lane.... MOVE OVER bitch....

ok done lol peace...

xoxo
QB

Farewell!

2007-11-23T12:02:00.000-05:00

GOODBYE!

It's so final, it's so real, it's so heartbreaking. yet it needs to be done...

how do you say goodbye to your once lover?

goodbye to laughing together,
good bye to talking to you in the dead of night just cus I can,
goodbye to trusting you,
goodbye to wanting to eat with you,
goodbye to wiping something off your face without any hesitation,
goodbye to the dreams of our future together,
goodbye to the names that we already picked for our kids,
goodbye to the vacation plans we had,
goodbye to hurting eachother,

finally its a farewell to completely loving you unconditionally.

Goodbye my love, you can't hurt me anymore...

CB

Hello Goodbye!

2007-10-12T12:27:00.000-05:00

Well just got back from a neighboring city for my cousins wedding and now i am off to the other side of the world on Wednesday!
Asia & India cant wait... Although last time i was in asia i was VERY ill... yeah not so fun.. Those poor poor little Asians who had to witness me hurling on the side of a busy HWY lol... What great memories ;)

Anyway so i gained 5 lbs over this long weekend from the wedding.. BUT im down 3 so 2 more to go till i get back on track.. HOW the heck am i supposed to diet in India? Or Asia for that matter.. god this is going to be hard.

In other news... im contemplating doing a video post one of these days just for fun... any thoughts?? Of course i cant show my face as QueenBitch must remain anonymous but i think it would be something different...

Alright back to reality..

update time

2007-10-05T09:25:00.000-05:00

Ok sorry i haven't been around ive been crazy busy and im pretty much away the rest of October BUT here's a small update...

Ok well after the flowers from the ex i told him to back off and that if anything he was only driving me away with his constant pursuit and begging... He took a few days but he seems to be giving me my space and acting normal for now.. but who really knows.. Anyway im SO not in a relationship or even dating mode right now that i dont really care..

Anyway ive now lost 19lbs in total and i leave for the wedding tomorrow and i was hoping to be down 20.. we shall see at tomorrow mornings weigh in.. Yesterday my brother called me skinny hehe as he grabbed my fat... BUT it was nice to hear none the less ;)

Ok so im going to my cousins wedding thats not in my town so im away this weekend and then im back for a week before i head overseas for 3 weeks.... Cant wait!

Have a great Gobble Gobble if you are in Canada if not have a great weekend and a wonderful rest of October!

And hes back...

2007-09-25T09:07:00.000-05:00

Got a bouquet of flowers delivered to work yesterday from the ex.... Yup hes still trying to win me back poor guy..
I mean i feel for him who wouldn't regret treating me like i wasnt anything special? Who wouldn't be upset that they lost a great thing? Yeah well i dont know how much clearer i can make it that im simply not interested in getting back together at this point. I just dont feel the same way anymore, too much has happened and quite frankly im really content being single...

Its just kinda stressful to know that i have someones supposed happiness on my hands... OYE

Truckers!

2007-09-12T10:22:00.000-05:00

WHY is it that almost all truckers feel the need to stare at you with their beady little eyes while passing you or driving beside you? Are they trying to look down my top? Cuz really its pretty annoying.. today i must have been stared down by at least 10 truckers on my way to work.. while i could take this as a sign that at least my head is getting prettier as my weight drops i cant help but shudder as i pass them.

Im sorry but no matter how fat i get or how ugly i could ever be i will NEVER and i mean NEVER take so much as a second look at YOU! You are old and have bad teeth. No that cigarette hanging out of your mouth while you flash me a little grin DOESN'T look sexy and NO you aren't being inconspicuous when you bend over backwards and raise your head so high just to look into my sun roof! and FYI honking your horn and blowing me a kiss only makes me want to vomit :)

Don't get me wrong i admire your profession i mean working sometimes 80 hrs a week being gone from your family for long periods and stuff but WHY or WHY do you feel the need to make such gestures at me just because im a fairly young girl in a sports car!!

Anyway as you can tell im SO flattered that i caught the attention of so many truckers on my way to work today :)

Have a good one yall...

12 gone!

2007-09-06T12:51:00.000-05:00

Sweet down 12lbs but seem to be holding at this drop for a few days now... bah..
Anyway not much else exciting going on... work has been nuts and lifes been crazy busy which i love. Only a month left before my travels start! Ill be gone 3 weeks or so in oct which will be fun although i tend to get home sick a lot so it may not end up being so fun lol...

Hitting downtown tonight its apparently THE night to go out to lounges/restaurants for a few drinks.. although im still on my alcohol detox so maybe not!

OMG

2007-08-28T10:47:00.000-05:00

IM sooooo tired today! All i want to do is sleep :( I went to the gym for 40 mins then did an hour aquafit class and i think i over did it! I crashed around 10:30pm and woke at 7:30am but didnt sleep well i dont think... cant quite remember but all i know is i want my bed so bad right now :(

So what no one liked my hat?? You all suck lol...

In other news im now down 10.4lbs yay... not as fast as id hoped but whatever im on my way down :)

Have i gone astray??

2007-08-23T12:44:00.000-05:00

I know this blog isn't about my lifestyle change so maybe i shouldn't talk about it EVERY freakin day lol....
In other news i got a sexy new hat :) check it out.. sans face of course :P I like hats but i find it so hard to find ones i love... this one is a bit big on me and ive had to pin it but i love it :)

Havent spoken to the ex in over a week... and you know what im SO ok with that.... yes i miss talking to someone but i need to really keep my mind in check in terms of my goals.
Oh so get this... remember random coffee guy? Well after not talking at all for over a month and a half i was passing his area and decided to text him with "hey long time how was the bar? (he took the bar exam)... dont ask me why but i kinda just wanted to see if he would respond. Well no response that night and it actually didnt bother me at all. I get to work and my cell rings... not sure of the #...
Me: "hello"
Him: "Hey its *****"

***small talk for a minute***
Him: "so do you wanna meet up for a coffee?"
Me: "um sure, let me know when you are free"
Him: "at lunch?" (we work close to each other)
Me: "TODAY?"
etc

Well we met for a quick coffee and some small talk.... was ok. Found out he isn't looking for "anything" for at least a year due to a busy schedule. Normally this would have bothered me a bit given how he lead me on in the past, however it didnt on Monday because i realized im simply 'Just not that into him' anymore! I mean dont get me wrong if we hung out more often im sure i would be into him yet again BUT well we dont and we wont... He did claim he would keep in touch and gave me a rather tight hug but i honestly dont expect to hear from him anytime soon and thats FINE with me :)

Anyway enough rambling....

What is Aquafit you ask??!!

2007-08-22T09:57:00.000-05:00

AquaFit stands for Aqua Fitness here is a description of the class im taking.
COMBO CLASS
This 55 minute energetic class is designed for all types of participants. Join us for a well-rounded workout which includes a warm up, 30 minute cardio segment, muscle endurance.

I have my second class today :) Good bonding time with the moms too....

Hey Anon... cant wait to see you sunday and thanks for all the support you mean the world to me :)

Who knew!

2007-08-21T11:55:00.000-05:00

WHO knew that Aquafit would actually feel like a workout!! lol... Last nights class was amazing. So much fun and a great workout i must say. I can totally see it helping with toning and maybe even weight loss... Hey its a form of exercise right!

Well whoever gave me luck yesterday i must thank you because it worked!! Today was my 2 week weigh in and I am now down 8lbs in total... YAY!! I have certain goals which i will keep to myself for now but they are SO much more within reach now :)

Tonight im keeping busy by cheering my brothers baseball team on in their playoff game so that should be fun, gotta represent!! They are apparently all going for drinks after but i think ill stick to my diet cokes and water, why break my alcohol detox right?

I gotta say its SO much harder to get my water down when its freakin freezing!! It IS still summer right?!

Almost 2 weeks down...

2007-08-20T10:11:00.000-05:00

Well tomorrow will be my 2 week mark of this new lifestyle. Im still sitting at a 7lbs loss and its a bit frustrating not seeing that scale move because i was SO good all weekend! Went to a BBQ and watched everyone else eat all the cakes, cookies and chocolate covered macaroons :( I didnt touch any of it since im still trying to detox myself off sugar but i did have fruit and that may have done it.

Yes yes i know fruits are VERY good for you however certain fruits are very high in sugar like grapes and i had a bunch of grapes, but it was the only thing i could do to stop myself from picking up a macaroon.... Bah in the end the fruit was my enemy too lol... I just dont get it i pretty much drown myself in water.. i suppose it helps me from gaining which is good right?

No i am very proud of myself for not giving in to temptation or drinking this weekend..(its been like what 3-4 weeks with ZERO alcohol!) My friends have been amazing and very supportive which is SO key. They keep me in check hehe..

Today i start Aquafit and i cant even begin to tell you how excited i am :) Its going to be fun, i love the water.

Wish me luck for my weigh in tomorrow, if the numbers dont go down well im going to have to up my workouts which i really dont wanna do LOL...

This IS working!!

2007-08-17T13:14:00.000-05:00

Well thank you for your concerns and questions (keep em coming) about my trying to be healthier. First off NO im def not starving myself, this does not work for me and actually kinda makes me binge eat when i finally do eat. What im doing is basically what has worked for me in the past. Im low carbing it. No im not doing atkins cuz i think there is just too much fat in that plan for me, however i am doing my own sort of made up version of a low carb, low sugar thing and it seems to be working so really why question it right?!

Im now down 7 lbs in total! Yay go me :) I do have a serious goal that im trying to reach by October so ill keep yall posted. Also ill be starting aquafit on monday and trying to get to the class 2x a week. Im also looking into bikram yoga.. anyone tried this???

Anyway i will leave you with this.... NO i will not post a pic of me in a bikini cuz trust me no one wants to see that lol... however thank you for asking :)

New lifestyle?

2007-08-15T11:55:00.000-05:00

Well since im newly single i decided that now would be a great time to make some life changes. One being my health! So ive changed the way im eating and am starting aquafit, bikram yoga and classes at the gym as of next week. Im down 5.6lbs since last week just by diet alone and im feeling a lot better already.

Yup its time to work on me for a change!

Im Back Once Again!!

2007-08-07T20:12:00.000-05:00

Did ya miss me??

Well anyway, San Fran was good.. WAY 2 short if you ask me and i didnt really get to see ANY of the city which sucks but i did get to the closest mall!
The wedding was simple and traditional and it was nice to see some of my extended family but I wish i had more time to explore. Oh well...

I hadnt heard from the EX at all since i left his city. No contact what so ever until i arrived back from SF. I got a text that night at 1am from him just asking how my trip was and telling me that he saw my cousins at a wedding he was at.... YEAH great thanks for sharing.. I know we left on good terms and i dont have ill feelings towards him but really what was i supposed to say to that? I had been at a wedding all weekend myself at which my mother so nicely pointed out that some of HIS relatives were there. I was going to text him back with some remark about that but i was woken out of sleep and groggy and I just couldnt be bothered to respond.... so i didnt... and i havent. Hard decision yes.. but i need to do it for the simple fact that i NEED to move on and keeping contact this soon isnt going to help me break my emotional attachment to him.

Off 2 San Fran 2 Grab An In & Out Burger??!!!

2007-07-31T13:27:00.000-05:00

WHAT!!! No one had anything to say about my great story?! Hmph...

Im off to San Francisco on Thursday for a few days.. Apparently im not allowed to leave without having eaten an In & Out Burger! Since it will be my last time munching on a burger for a while (im going low carb when i get back) I feel the need to make it a point to have this so called amazing burger... How special can it be though? A hamburger is a hamburger no???
I shall report on my findings when i return :)

Long weekend in Canada Bitches!! Enjoy ;)

Im Back. miss me??!

2007-07-29T22:39:00.000-05:00

Well im back from the west coast... early..if thats any indication of how things went with the EX *sigh*
I think we both finally realized that we gave it another try and it wasnt working so what more could we do.. I told him i was leaving early 2 days before i could get a flight home so we still had 2 days together which was awkward at times. We both shed tears and had laughs, smiles and frowns and kisses and hugs during the next 2 days and when the time finally came for me to give him the last hug goodbye, i felt like i was in a movie. Tears streaming down our faces, embraced in each others arms knowing this was the end of a year of ups and downs and that we would be forever going our separate ways. He kissed me and I kissed him back and i could feel our combined tears on my lips, he whispered "we tried, we really tried", I shook my head unable to speak in agreement. Our arms finally parted ways and a few more words were exchanged before i knew it was time for me to go. I turned around and walked through the airport doors wiping the tears from my cheeks as they continued to fall, I looked back and his car hadnt moved and i knew that this was as hard for him as it was for me.
I had the next 5 hours to remember the last 2 weeks we had spent together, to remind myself of why i was leaving and why it was the right thing to do. Ive been home now for almost a week and i cant say its any easier. I miss him so much, our goodbye so fresh in my mind and every now and then i cant hold back the tears. I cry, i cry hard and then i wipe the tears away, blow my nose and remember the reason im here and not there right now..... I refuse to settle!

Who else loves the Boyz???

2007-07-06T13:33:00.000-05:00

I mean just look at those matching outfits!!!

They are my most favorite group EVER and I will be seeing them in concert for the second time this coming week..... I KNOW you are all SO jealous ;)

*sigh* Back to my B2M daydream!!

Attention Whore

2007-07-05T15:54:00.000-05:00

Is it wrong to get a little pissy if a certain guy who's trying to win you back gets a little busy one day and doesnt pay as much attention to you as you have now gotten used to getting from him??...

GOD i have serious issues!

Product Plug!!

2007-07-03T11:34:00.000-05:00

Well hello!!

Great product Plug

I'd like to now take a moment to introduce you all to the BEST product on earth Tofu Shirataki Noodles!!!!

Whats so good about them???
Check out these stats....WHEAT AND GLUTEN FREE 8 oz package, 2 servings, 20 calories per serving, .05 fat, 1 gram of protein 3 total carbs 2 of those are fiber, 1 net carb per serving.

You really have to rinse them good because they kinda come in this water liquid and it smells like fish but that will go away once rinsed and cooked i promise.

My fav way to eat em is to take one slice of light laughing cow cheese and melt it in a pan, add 1-2 table spoons of fat free sour cream and ground pepper.

Once cheese is melted add rinsed noodles (make sure you cut them before placing them in pan as they are super long) heat up the noodles add salt to taste if you wish and desired veggies or meat and voila an amazing super filling meal thats SO low cal and very low carb!!!

FYI the entire package (8oz) is ZERO point on weight watchers but then they say to never count it all as zero so lets just say 1 point!!

Personally i LOVE these noodles and recommend you try them :) They can be found at most asian super markets.

Proof JS is good for something!!!

2007-06-28T13:31:00.000-05:00

Ok im kidding WHO doesn't love Jessica Simpson and her ditzy self?!!
Seriously though ladies listen up... Jessica's new (or not so new) line of hair extensions rock!!

My advice, get em off eBay and save yourself about $60.00!! ClassyBitch decided to take the plunge in an attempt for fuller hair and bought both the straight and curly long extensions. I was thinking about it but wasn't convinced since i hadn't tried it on. They however looked amazing on her so a few weeks later I went to my salon and asked if I could try it on. They allowed me but when CB went and asked they said no so i guess it depends.
Anyway so I found out the name of the color that suited me and ordered them off ebay.ca and saved myself a bunch of money.

I went on Saturday to get bangs again and had my hairdresser put the clip on extensions in for me and I got a ton of compliments that night. Just to prove how fab they are heres a pic of me from that night... *face has been edited out to keep my anonymity on this bitch blog :)*

Hello June!

2007-06-26T10:24:00.000-05:00

Wow HOW is it the end of June already??!! The summer is passing by so quick yet nothing much has changed. I head to the city where the EX lives in 2 and a half weeks to visit family and ive decided that im going to see him.

Now before you all yell at me id just like to say that ive given this a lot of thought and if i go there and avoid seeing him i KNOW ill come back here and wish that i had. If nothing else then to see if there are still feelings there but its something ive decided to do and im ok with that. Hes in the process of moving into his condo and im curious to see it and hes also asked for my expert advice when it comes to decorating so we are gonna hit a few stores while im there.
I guess ill know a lot more once i see him. I hope he doesn't mess it up lol...

As for coffee guy yeah well hes a dork! He has apparently been "too busy studying" to even give me a call or go for coffee so ive given up on him all together. Its a shame since i felt that we had a great connection and got along amazing but whatever i can take a hint lol... Im not holding my breath for him to call once the exam is done in August either... His loss!!

Introducing S man!

2007-06-19T14:56:00.000-05:00

As promised i am bitching about my other issue. this is gonna be a long one, because there is soooo much history!

so i have had this guy friend for as long as i can remember. his name is gonna be S man from now on. and no there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING super about the S... mmm super man! yum! ok im sidetracking back to S man. he and I have been great friends on and off for the past 6 - 7 years now. he has been present through an ex boyfriend and an ex fiance. when i had just broken up with the ex boyfriend he told me that he "loved" me! now i ask you how can someone love me without ever being with me??? anyway i didnt ask those questions merely felt weird because of the fact that i was dissappointed that he chose that very moment to tell me when he knows that i just need a friend because i was going through something! anyway we got into a fight, i didnt wanna deal with the shit, so i cut him off for a month. he came back apologized we once again had a great friendship and all was well in the world. a few months later he goes missing. he says he cant be in my company because he has feelings blah blah, i understand, we dont talk for another 6 months. at this point i met mr. G. and we were in the friends stage of the relationship. i mean to the point where i didnt even for a second consider MR. G. as someone i would EVER date. ANYWAY S man comes back into the picture and i take him back with open arms and we are amazing friends once again. at the request of freinds an family who all love S man and who would love to see us together i made an attempt to try and see myself being with him. as a side note i was in no shape or form attracted to S man at that point, but i was still willing to make an effort because i truly loved his personality and felt that maybe this could transpire into something more. anyway due to the non-existence of any sort of effort from his end i decided to let it go. i later in the year, towards the beggining of the dating phase with Mr. G. found out (from Sman himself) that S man went through a depression because he was MADLY in love with me! WTF!!! i mean i did ABSOLUTELY nothing to elicit this and when he had the opportunity to he did ABSOLUTELY nothing about it. because of the lack of effort or drive or whatever you wanna call it me and sman and classy bitch never came to be.

last year Sman went into a relationship with a girl that can only be described as a disaster! i mean she didnt know what the meaning of a smile was. she was made of stone! knowing Sman for as long as i did i was surprised that this is what he would chose as a partner. i mean if the man was in love with me at some point in his life then how the hell could he even like this chic because me and her were POLAR opposites. annnnyway so then when i broke up with MR. G. and my life was in friggin shambles he was kinda there for me but not really. anyway as i dont expect anything i wasnt too hurt. i also fancied myself as having feelings for Sman as ive alwas kinda had a soft spot for him and ive always kinda wanted to be with him but i wasnt willing to make so much of an effort when he was doing absolutely nothing. anyway SMAN was going through a thing with the girl and he was breaking up with her for the tenth time because of the way she was. he kept talking to me about it and i tried not to say too much as it wasnt in my place. of course being me i had to REALLY control myself. so basically i still said stuff. yes i know that was wrong. anyway so he kept telling me about how he was so blind that he didnt see what was right in front of him. he has made so many mistakes blah friggin blah. oh and how he wants me to meet his family in portland lah lah lah. at this point im like you know this isnt a bad idea but we are gonna take things INCREDIBLY slow. fine with me... then, i get a call saying he is back with her!

so at that point i said i just dont want to deal with it anymore. i came clean, i told him i had feelings for him and that i cant sit here see him be with someone that is so wrong and that he can see is so wrong. anyway i just stopped talking to him because i thought of him as a spineless hypocrite and i told him too. yes i know im mean. anyway later i felt bad about it and called an apologized. we again didnt talk for another 2 months and then i talked to him online for a bit and he said we should do coffee and i told him to make an effort and make it happen because im through with being dissappointed. he agreed and said he would for sure. i havent heard from him since.

the other day my brother, who happens to be basketball/baseball buddies with S man told me that S and his horrible girl have broken up AGAIN and that i should call him to see if he is ok. he needs a friend blah blah. now i kinda dont feel like doing this. i mean why cant he just call me. i have made so many efforts and i didnt even go through a damn depression for this man. what to do???

Too much to bitch about...

2007-06-19T14:08:00.000-05:00

hellooooo everybodayyyy! it's been a while and i've been a busy bee! a miserable one, but still a busy one! so because i have so much to say i've decided that i will do two posts today....

So Mr. G. has been calling very regularly. and to tell you the truth i kinda secretly like it. yes i know its because i dont have anyone else and its because im lonely and yes to an extent im also ignoring all the warnings that i am putting in my own head. you know what though, its almost like im thinking to myself, well im not calling him, ive made myself CRYSTAL clear to him and he knows that the possibility of me and him getting back together again is slim to none...

when we were together i found talking to G very difficult because he always got all defensive and so on. its a little more refreshing now because i feel as though im actually being heard. he has apologized repeatedly and yet he has not made a promise to change. The fact that he hasnt made that promise makes talking to him more simple. i know he isn't making false promises, i know that he is not making any fake promises of change. im a firm believer of people dont change except when they go through different experiences. and thats why i like that he isnt giving me any false hope and vice versa. i like that all our expectations are very very out in the open and we both really realize what life is with and without eachother. i feel like we are back to the basics of being friends and he is someone who i can actually talk to. he isnt begging me back and im not willing to go back. he just calls to tell me how he is doing and ask how i am and then at the end its usually a i still love you no matter what which is met by silence from my end.

to tell you the truth i dont know what i feel for him. is it bitterness? cynicism? is it a sense of loss? love? do i hold grudges against him? i just dont know how i feel. i think its everything yet in a way im happier not knowing! i know that i dont hate him anymore. ive actually forgiven him for some things in my own heart and im trying to move on from it. but i truly dont know if i love him anymore. i mean when i talk to him i feel a tightness in my heart that i attribute to missing him and what we had. then i feel a little warm and emotional. then when we hang up i feel empty and very alone, yet determined that i deserve better.... i dont know what it is. its such a mix of everything together.

to top off the rollercoaster of emotions, i recently found out that a close friend of mine is invited to the house that used to be occupied by me and Mr. G. Apparently the person who bought my house is throwing a big bday party for his girlfriend. i myself, have been looking for a house/condo to fill the void of the one i had. and the weird thing is that even though i havent found any that i love i havent had that sick feeling at the pit of my stomach because i missed my old one or what the old one represented to me or whatever. but when i heard that my friend was going, i think i stopped breathing for a bit and thats when i realized how much i miss that life that i had even if it wasnt a happy one. even if Mr. G. unknowingly made it difficult to be happy i still miss it. and because of that i resent him, and this is how i know that me and him would never work because i dont know if i can let it all go... sounds awful and pathetic i know but hey im bitching! i feel like ripping into the house with all those strangers and telling them to get the F out of my home! GOD!!!

ok well this feels better to get it out that is. so thanks for listening to my bitchfest everyone! stay tuned for my next entry about my other problem. damn men!!! no offence..

Ive ignored you i know...

2007-06-14T15:32:00.000-05:00

Forgive me dear readers.. it seems the other bitches have bailed and im now the ONLY one updating!! Come back bitches come back!!!

OK well things have been super hard as of late... coffee guy has become almost extinct god knows why... SURE you have to study for the bar pshhhhh... so thats basically a wait and see situation.

My brothers engagement party was on the weekend which is one of the reasons ive been MIA. I planned the entire thing and i must say it turned out FABULOUS!! Everyone had a blast and despite a tiny jelly bean fight (damn 80's babies) things went smooth. Plus by the end i was highly intoxicated which really helped lol...

I also helped out a bit with a friends baby shower which was also this past weekend. Im still in awe that my friends are having babies!!! God when did i get to this stage of life? and why am i so far behind?!!

As for the ex... well hes calmed down a lot since his desperate plea stage. I know most of you think hes a nut job and that things would never work but seriously am i stupid to believe that someone can "never" change?? I mean im not that jaded am i? I guess a little part of me wants to believe that he has seen the light and that things can be better but i will never really know unless i give him another chance and quite frankly im just not ready to. *sigh* Hes been recently asking much advice about his new condo decor which he's moving into since he likes the style of mine and thats fine cuz i love that stuff so ive been giving ideas and suggestions and thats what our conversations consist of. Maybe i enjoy these conversations more because it isnt about him getting emotional and spilling his heart out i dont know but im comfortable with this as right or wrong as it may seem...

Oh god and the soap opera continues...

What to do???!!

2007-06-07T13:14:00.000-05:00

This is so hard.....
Since the flowers ive gotten emails & phone calls from the ex. Although hes been calm and a little more mature about things hes said some pretty big things like for example that he is willing to move here if given another chance.... He never ONCE offered to move here before, if anything it was always talk of me moving there so this really surprised me. I want to believe all the things he is saying are simply because he "realized what he had now that its gone", but everyone i talk to simply shrugs it off as him just doing and saying anything to get me back...

The question i have to ask myself though is at what point do you sit there and say OK you know what i really think hes being genuine now... I was fine with moving on with my life before he turned up the hard core effort to win me back but its SO hard to simply ignore someone in your face saying all these things they have realized since being without you... Is it too late? in a way yes... i have seen the side of him i wouldn't want to be with and so the idea of giving it another chance scares me to death... That being said there is a small part of me that wants to believe all he has said because its everything i wanted to hear but is that enough...

Im sure the logical answer is that he already had his chance and that its simply 2 late now but unfortunately life isn't that simple and I have 2 soft of a heart i suppose.... For right now however i am sticking to my guns and have said over and over i don't want to be back together cuz im simply not ready. I have told him i want to date and see what else is out there and take this time to really get reacquainted with myself......

Argh this is so hard.... I kinda wish he would stop trying to get me back so my life would be so much easier but on the other hand who doesnt like hearing nice things? Or that someone who messed up has had a realization?....

surprise surprise....

2007-06-01T19:41:00.000-05:00

THis is how today went...
Guy at work calls me up : happy birthday....
Me: uh its not my birthday
guy: it isnt? well you have flowers here waiting so i thought it was your birthday..
me: (tiny panic attack) i do? are you sure they are for me?
Guy: well they say your name on em..
me:ok ill be down soon...

*heart races, thoughts rush.... flowers? me? they couldn't possibly be from the ex i mean hes an ex and yes hes been REALLY trying to win me back but this is just well... unexpected... could they be from a new admirer? Oh i really hope they are... i need some new drama now this ones getting too old....*

I make my way downstairs to find an all pink bouquet of pretty flowers and i instantly knew they were from the ex... he knows i love pink... of course in times of ass kissing he would send an ALL pink arrangement not like the mostly pink ones he used to send... *deep breath*

I head upstairs and open the card and indeed they are from the ex.... he misses me, he will do anything to get me back... hes lost without me...

Good GOD WHYYYYY.......... i appreciate the thought but talk about putting me in a hard place emotionally.... *sigh*

anyway nothings changed i dont wanna get back together.... not now and not anytime soon but damn the flowers were nice.....

tick tock tick tock

2007-05-31T18:58:00.000-05:00

Think think think thats all i seem to do these days... weather its about the good, the bad or the ugly. My mind races with never ending questions, comments and ideas that no single moment is sacred anymore. How do i rediscover myself? how do i find the girl i want to be and allow her to emerge when there are years or cloudiness in her way....
Why do i feel like im here for everyone to take from? why do i allow them to take? take my mind, my heart and in the end my spirit... Why do i not even realize my own self worth enough to demand the best? Why do i question myself and why it is im so hard to love? or maybe im too easy to love, so much so that the love turns into being taken advantage of...
Im tired of knowing i deserve the best but being ok with whatever... im done, no more... i will not give in to words being written, emotional phone calls, lack of communication or promises that i know are so hallow...
I must change this patten that i bring upon myself...
Ive always been so afraid of change but its about time i get over that fear for fear will only make me weak...

Much Needed Update!!

2007-05-16T13:26:00.000-05:00

ok so i know ive been a bad blogger but shit happens... Sorry Bitches

Let me update you on my soap opera of a life...
Hmm where to start... ill just be random.
Ever since the ex got mad at me for not calling him we hadnt talked, texted or emailed at all until he text me the other day. I didnt respond cuz really im not ready to talk, he text me back an hour later saying he missed me, again i didnt respond. The next day i got an email with a strange message "can you at least send me a blank email please".... umm weird! What would be the point of that?? Plus i was really stuck on exactly what id respond with so i didnt. Not a good idea cuz that night at 1am I get a phone call from him. I could have ignored it i suppose but felt if i did he would continue so i answered. Lets just say the conversation once again got around to us, how he FINALLY told his grandma we broke up and then came the dreaded "can i ask you something" question... god i hate those cuz they are almost never something good. I agreed and then was asked if i thought there was a possibility we would get back together!!! Good god WHYYYYY me?! Seriously dude we broke up! Before i answered i asked what his answer would be and got "well im not gonna say theres NO possibility" WTH what kinda answer is that? what does that even mean???
Anyway i answered truthfully and said no i didnt think we could or would ever be back together based on a lot of things.... harsh i felt but it needed to be done. I care about him but after being out of it totally i can see that i want and need more from a partner. Well he started balling and i starting rolling my eyes and asked him to stop (i feel like the guy in this all) he then said he had to go and hung up.
That was the end of that and i doubt we will speak again...not for a long while anyway... I really dont get him at all... Im so ok with us not being together that i really dont think i could ever go back now....

Anyway besides that ive had a few more coffee meetings with my new buddy... :)

My brothers family engagement party is this friday that should be good times and i continue to be a crafty nerd and make all kinds of projects for his second engagement party... Lets see right now im working on the card box... Good times im SO the next Martha!!

Oh going to Buffalo this long weekend for the day to shop YES! Victoria Secret better be ready for moi!

grr

2007-05-11T13:41:00.000-05:00

Im just so annoyed right now... argh!!

where do i begin?? .....

2007-05-08T14:42:00.000-05:00

ok... i know i have been a bad little blogger and haven’t written anything in a LONG time. so its time to update:

I have been so busy trying to heal myself from my car accident. Yep CAR ACCIDENT!!! 2 weeks ago today this stupid 80yr old man who probably couldn’t see anything at all ran through a red light and hit me. HARD!!! He totaled my car. I’m not badly hurt but my neck and back are really sore so on top of working 2 jobs I have to start going to physio 2 to 3 times a week now!! I’m really pleased about that… oh and on top of that I found out that I had tonsillitis the day of the accident too. So couldn’t swallow or move for like 3 days.

And I have to look for a new car ASAP because the insurance company is going to write me a cheque for my car very soon and I will have to give back the rental. Its very stressful. I wasn’t even planning on looking for a new car at all. I loved my car. And not only that but for my birthday just back in December all my girlfriends went in and got me a car starter for my birthday gift!! I loved it and I only got to have it for 4 months. I know I can just get another one but that’s not the point. The point is I have to get a new car in like a week!!

So here I was…. trying to get all fit and stuff because I will be going to Hawaii with my family for Christmas. Then BAM…. car accident. It ruined everything. I had goals set for me and was doing really good and everything but now all of that is put on hold until I can fix my back. It really sucks. Not only that but I have had all these issues with my insurance company trying to renew my insurance… it has just been a few weeks from hell!!

The last thing I posted about was the awards gala that I was to be going to and how I had a big date for it too. My date was awesome. He was way more sociable and friendly than I could have imagined. BUT he was sick!! He had the flu and stayed for quite a while suffering just cuz he didn’t want to leave on me. Oh he was so fine in his suit….. It was perfect cuz the guy that I work with that I had a semi-almost-thing with was there and saw me with mr. hottie and totally acted all interested in me again. After my date went home (I told him to go home to sleep around 9:00 cuz I thought the poor guy was gonna pass out) we all went out to a club all dressed fancy. It was so much fun and work-guy was totally into me. Everyone noticed it and kept saying stuff to me too. I swear when you play hard to get it works the best!!! But im not going to make anything of his actions that night. I don’t need to be put through all of that again. Im just going to leave things be for now. I have enough stuff going on as it is.

Bright Sunshinin Day!!

2007-05-07T13:01:00.000-05:00

Good Monday afternoon faithful readers! It was a fabulous weekend in terms of weather I must say and that totally put a smile on my face! I did however hear from the ex again via text message on Saturday night. This time he sent a picture text of himself at some wedding saying he missed me... I disregarded the comment and simply said "looking good, have a great night". He then asked me what i was up to and if i missed him too.... GRR WHY does he have to ask me that?! I thought we were over and moving on now!! I responded with "plz dont ask me that, have a good night bye" to which he sent one last reply saying sorry but that it was really hard for him.... No shit Sherlock! Its hard for me too which is why I get mad when you text/call and then ask me questions like that! Yes its hard but thats your fault so please dont make me suffer anymore then I have.... *sigh*

Other then that the weekend was fun :) I went out for sushi with someone whos sense of humour plays very well off mine and had a great time chatting for hours... *smiles* thats all im willing to say about this as really there is nothing more i can say!

The weather promises to be excellent for the rest of the week which makes me feel like (even if they dont) that things are looking better!

Pour me a drink!

2007-05-04T10:20:00.000-05:00

Blah.. I need a stiff drink right about now for more then just the obvious reasons of my soap opera life!!

Yikes!

2007-05-02T08:59:00.000-05:00

Well thanks for the support ladies however he did end up asking me why i didnt call and if i was even planning on calling him and i just broke down. I felt so bad and even though i know i dont owe him anything I just know that if it was my birthday i would have wanted a call from him... Anyway so he hung up on bad terms cuz he was mad and i was in tears and that was that until he called again later in the day to say sorry about our argument the day before and for getting upset that i hadn't called him... yeah well that conversation was going well until he decided to talk about the fact that both his EX's called him to say happy bday and i didnt and how he was talking to them for a while about me and so on... LIKE WTH?!! Why are you talking to your ex gf's about me and asking their opinions and shit! I don't want everyone especially them knowing my business and quite frankly i don't appreciate you telling me what they said and then being compared to them!

Again the waterworks began and i had to let him go cuz i really cant deal with talking to him or hearing his voice its way to hard for me... I thought that was the end of it until he text me as i was heading to bed to say "we all (his family) miss you at dinner" as his entire family who loves me and obviously doesn't know we have broken up had gone out for dinner for his bday. Gee thanks buddy! Really why would you say that to me? I loved your family just as much as they loved me and because of YOU they are no longer in my life and vice versa so let it go! Don't try and give me some sort of guilt trip or whatever it is you are trying to do by telling me this cuz its making me feel like shit!

OMG I swear im going insane!!!

What to do?!

2007-05-01T10:31:00.000-05:00

Well today is the Ex's birthday! I sent an Ecard and ill send a text at noon but i dont believe i should call... After yesterday i realized that we cant talk anymore, or at least not for a while. Im still very angry and hurt and i get all messed up when we do talk so ive decided that im not going to call him for his birthday and that an email and text is good enough.... Am I a bitch? Do i owe him a call?? :( I kinda feel bad but we are broken up after all!

Out with the Old in with the New??!!

2007-04-30T08:42:00.000-05:00

Well another weekend has come and gone and here we are again Monday morning! The ex and I haven't spoken since Thursday which ill have to be honest has surprised me but I know its a good thing as it probably wasn't going anywhere great anytime soon!

On another note I may actually have a date this week! Yes i know its soon and somewhat out of the blue but im not taking it seriously and it will definitely take my mind of the present situation... He seems funny and that's enough for me right now as I could really use a laugh or 2 lol so we shall see how that goes...

Its a beautiful day in the neighbourhood folks so get out and enjoy it! ;)

EW! Who does that?

2007-04-27T15:07:00.000-05:00

As im driving with my mother and i see a man off tot he side of the road just standing on the corner... i keep looking at him cuz i was wondering what he was doing off in the grass.. YEAH does he not just start peeing!!! EW who does that? its 1pm on Friday in the middle of a busy intersection!!

GOD whats wrong with people?!!!

adventures at the timmies drive thru!

2007-04-26T14:43:00.000-05:00

ok so update is that i havent heard anything from Mr. G. Im happy that i haven't so that i dont have to deal with the -should i answer or not syndrome- yet i feel like i want to... hmmm!

so today a very weird thing happened! I'm driving to an appointment as i had taken my morning off from work. i then see a tim hortons, and being a caffein junkie, obviously make a beeline for the drive thru! here is the kicker... i get to the window to pay for my order and the guy at the window says, "don't worry about it, he already got it for you." he says this and points to the car that just paid in front of me! my answer was "he what? he PAID for ME??? who is that?!" so the guy at the window looks at me with the -are you dumb- look and says, "uhh i don't know, he just paid for you" and shrugs. so i drive away try and look into the car who has now parked in a spot in front of me. i guess he was thinking im gonna follow him and park next to him. im SO confused thinking, i dont know the car, and the guy looks kinda old therefore may be a psycho... just as i think this, he waves at me, i wave back, not knowing what else to do and drive away cheers-ing my coffee! LOOOL!!!

WHO DOES THAT???

so now i feel bad, like i jipped the guy or something! was i wrong to drive away? should i have talked to him??? i mean how hot could i look in a rear view mirror?! i know that the money was inconsequential, however, who does that??? anyway i was amused!

New Light!

2007-04-25T13:40:00.000-05:00

Ok so yesterday was a bad day but my life isnt nearly as bad as my time of the month allowed me to believe it was yesterday! I feel better today... i think ill be ok :)
This is the summer of me and my fellow bitches NO men allowed lol... hmm maybe I shouldn't be so harsh... ok men allowed sometimes but only when we want you here and ONLY on our terms!!

Bring on the weekend already!!!

Why me... like seriously!

2007-04-24T14:34:00.000-05:00

Im sitting here trying so hard to hold back the tears that are sitting in the lump in my throat. I know im supposed to feel relived or happy that I got outta something that wasnt working but im not! I dont understand my life.. the "path" thats set up for me... I dated a guy who turned out to be the biggest bastard ever, he hurt me so badly that to this day it gets me upset to think about him or what he did. A month or so later i meet this guy (the ex)... same background, families new each other and I was so happy. It all seemed so perfect like gods way of saying sorry for putting me through a shit time... I thought this was going to be forever.. maybe im naive or maybe I just want that dream so badly i allowed myself to believe it was perfect. Now its over and yet again my heart hurts, my dreams are crushed & my future plans no longer...

I was always so sure i would get married have babies and be a mom... i dont think that way anymore you know.. How can i? How can i even begin to allow myself to dream again, to have hope, to fully trust and love another.... Im a good person who goes out of her way to make everyone happy yet inside im so unhappy... ironic huh!

What a night!

2007-04-23T16:40:00.000-05:00

So this last weekend me and some friends QB included went to a club to celebrate a freind's bday.... please note i haven't been to this place in four years and i prob wouldn't go for another four years if i didn't have to. So we get there and we are having an amazing time. QB was making me laugh so hard i think i was close to having an "accident", i know not to classy... Anyway we go to the washroom and i decide to get a bottle of water. i leave to get one, and try to return through a crowd of men. "excuse me, excuse me" I say and i look up and GUESS WHO IT IS???? That's right people, the one and only MR. G. Himself! standing there with his friend. so the friend is all, "I MISS YOU OH MY GOD!!" and then i look over at Mr. G. and he swoops in for a hug... so me and mr. g. are standing there in an awkward silence trying to make small talk, "how are you?" "Im good how are you" so finally i left (with my legs shaking) as i thought it was pointless to pretend as if we cared about that stuff. i just wanted to yell, "I MISS YOU. Who cares if you treated me like crap!" needless to say i didnt do that! anyway so I go back to the friends, and 20-30 minutes later we decide to leave. As im leaving i bump into his friend who was obviously trying to make a call.

CB: "OK bud we are gonna get going b..."
Friend, "Im so pissed off at Mr. G. I'm never coming out with him again"
CB: "Oh what happened?"
Friend: "He just took off on me"
CB: "What? Really (thinking thats not like him)? do you know where he is"
Friend: "no he just f*@#ing took off on me with a girl!"
CB: too shocked to say anything so i smile, try to hold back the tears and just try to breathe, "oh well anyway tell him i said have a good night."
Friend: "Ok hun, oh by the way have you met my OTHER friends? This is so and so and so and so"
CB: "nice to meet you"
So and so: "HELLO GIRLS!"
CB: "ok bye see ya later"

we left and I did what i've never done before. i started BALLING on the streets.. i couldn't even wait to get into the car! talk about a buzz kill for my friends. poor things, but they were super nice about everything and it was a miracle that i could drive after that...

So now im thinking back on saturday and my day yesterday and thinking about how i was. and DEVESTATED i was. i understand that he is gonna go out with other women, but to do it RIGHT after the weekend he basically was begging me to get together and i had to email him with a list of reasons we cant be together before he stops... It was such a huge shock!

how can this be? i mean i know that i ended it, but it was because of his treatment to me, and all those broken promises. i didnt' do anything mean and hateful to deserve that. AND WHY THE HELL WOULD YOUR FRIEND TELL ME???? HOW MESSED IN THE HEAD ARE YOU Mr. G.?? is it fun for you to see me suffer? how could he even do that knowing what it would do to me? I would never EVER be so DISRESPECTFUL and do that! ever... specially if i had tried to get together with you and constantly told u that i miss you!

Some people have told me that they think it may have been planned. in a way i wish i could believe that and in a way i dont want to. if its true that he went home with some girl, then that means that he is a disgusting ass who i dont even recognise. but if its not true and it really was all made up, it just shows WHAT A CRUEL MAN he really is. either way you look at it he is not a good person. he intentionally hurt me!

I know its pathetic that i even care about this, but i was almost married to the man. i shared a home with him, and i feel like he just hit me with a shovel!

What a night! it started out so beautifully and ended in such a tragic way!!!

Every good thing comes to an end sometime!

2007-04-20T10:02:00.000-05:00

Its now official AGAIN.... me and the ex are no longer even in a state of limbo. We had THE talk last night and i just explained that we are different people who are at different points in their lives right now therefore it just wouldn't work...

He actually took it WAY better then I thought he would. He didn't ball like last time instead he said he respected me and therefore respected my decision. Im so happy that it ended this way instead of me feeling like I was crushing his heart with my bare hands like last time. We said we would still be friends and i think we can in time. Im still going there on a family trip this summer so i will defiantly call him up and check out his new place or have dinner with him while im there I mean I see no harm in that right?!

While a part of me is relieved that we have had this discussion obviously there is a part of me that is hurting right now. I care deeply about him and wish only the best for him but its sad letting go... I hate letting go! I hate endings.... I hate the thought of having to start over with someone new :(

I suppose my life isn't as clear as I would have always hoped it would have been but im glad I at least have the balls not to settle!

Time to love myself me thinks!!!

Truth Hurts!

2007-04-19T09:49:00.000-05:00

Well I believe the chapter with Mr. G. is finally over. since the official breakup (religious thing) he has tried to get together with me about mmmmmmmmmm i would say 3 or 4 times. of course i said no everytime but DAYMN, was THAT ever hard to do. specially when im sitting at home feeling sorry for myself and missing having a special person in my life!

so anyway finally the last straw came this last weekend, he kept texting me and so on and asking to get together. The problem is that the man isn't even saying - im sorry let me make it up to you. no, its more of a - well i really miss you so lets see eachother. at that point I ACTUALLY seriously was considering doing just that. i was trying to justify it to myself, like, oh well its JUST a movie. it can't hurt. i knew that was the wrong move so i took the cowardly approach to gaining strength. i asked someone else what they would do. their obvious reaction was "are you CRAZY". knowing that they had a point (because i knew that getting together would not be good at all!) i responded with a "no". He persisted to ask me to go with him for the movie and i had to repeatedly say no, all the while, wanting to so bad.

Once he gave up i thought about everything that we had gone through together and i was so angry with him. I hate it when he puts me in this difficult position when he knows what it does to me. SO selfish. i was just fed up. i emailed him a very lengthy email, telling him exactly why i can't see him. i told him why its so weird for him to keep asking. we arent friends. this isnt going anywhere, we have no future anymore, YOU F***ed that up. so WHY? you wanna be friends with benefits? NO THANKS! if i had to have a friend with benefits, i would prefer not being in love with him or having SO MUCH resentment towards him either. so no! anyway i asked him not to respond because i knew that it wouldnt be something i cared to hear. guess what the shocker is........ he didn't respond! i have to say that in a sick way im a little impressed at that! I KNOW I HAVE ISSUES! so anyway hopefully some of the emotional rollercoaster of having to hear from him every few days and having to stand my ground is over. i think. im pretty sure anyway!

NOW I NEED A FRIEND WITH BENEFITS! JUUUUUUUUUUUST kidding. i suck at that stuff... lets just say i dont pull that off very well. i ended up getting engaged and having a religious ceremony and buying a house with that last guy who was my first and last friend with benefits! yes that would be Mr. G.

DAMN IT! LOL!

Well...

2007-04-17T09:59:00.000-05:00

The weekend has come and gone...
I just don't know what to make of this weekend at all! I mean the whole reason the ex was coming here was to show me that we are good together, that hes made changes and that i should have no doubts about him or us wasn't it????
Well if anything he's left me just as doubtful and thinking of ways to end this all over again! Its not so much that he did anything wrong this weekend or that we had a bad time cuz we didn't.. there were fun parts for sure but overall i didn't get the warm fuzzy feeling i should be getting from someone im with... Being long distance should make that fuzzy feeling overwhelming when we see each other but it didn't... there was nothing romantic about the weekend which surprised me considering this was his time to step it up a notch...

*sigh* I just don't know why this guy is so clueless.... it would appear that hes not so into it yet for the last 2 months hes been crying up a storm for me to give him another chance, saying he would make it up to me but when i do there is NO effort on his part...

Im not about to commit to him again that's for sure i want to keep my options open and tell him its not gonna work but im afraid of the waterworks! I don't want to drag this on any longer we are both good people that are just so wrong for each other and that's the bottom line!

And so i wait for the guts and the right time to just tell him how i feel...

:( this sucks!

Say What?

2007-04-13T14:16:00.000-05:00

I came accross this article today.
I felt the need to share it. This was in an American publication.
I really hate the fact that people feel the need to spread their hatred of a city within their own country, and label it to the rest of the world based entirely on what was one person's experience. The worst part is when they spread their poor "reasearch" results as a shared fact of their negative opinion among the rest of the country!
Don't spread hate on a city - especially a city as diverse as Toronto - just because you don't like one specific aspect of it. Toronto's boundaries extend far beyond Bay St.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TORONTO, Ontario (Reuters) -- The dislike of Canada's biggest city, Toronto, in the rest of the country runs so deep that a filmmaker has made a documentary about it.
"People in Toronto are soulless, one-eyed corporate zombies," Joey Keithley, of the Vancouver punk band D.O.A., says in the film, "Let's All Hate Toronto."
The 73-minute film, which premieres at Toronto's Hot Docs documentary festival next week, follows a character called Mister Toronto, who embarks on a cross-Canada trip brandishing a sign that reads "Toronto Appreciation Day" and steels himself for the onslaught.
His tour leads from Newfoundland on the Atlantic Coast to the Pacific city of Vancouver, where feelings against Toronto -- usually acknowledged as the country's financial center and the cultural capital of English Canada -- run deepest of all.
"There is something different (about hating Toronto). People are more passionate about it," filmmaker and co-director Albert Nerenberg said in an interview.
"People have a grudging respect for New York outside of the city, and have a grudging respect for London. But people outside of Toronto don't have that for Toronto, they really don't."
Nerenberg, who is from Montreal, got the idea for the film from a 1956 publication with the same name as the movie.
He said collective dislike of a city is not unique to Canada, and said he might like to make similar films on other countries' love-hate relationships with major cities.

i too have a BIG weekend...

2007-04-12T12:43:00.000-05:00

my weekend wont be as huge as QB's.... well i hope it wont be anyways!
i have my awards gala this weekend with my *hopefully not awkward* date. he better behave.... i will be with all of my bosses!

wish me luck!
at this point i dont really care how the actual "date" part of it goes. im mostly excited to get all done up and wear my new dress!!!!

have a good weekend ladies!

BIG Weekend Ahead!

2007-04-12T11:08:00.000-05:00

First i have to say that in relation to my last post i am now creeped out by any stranger that is friendly to me LOL...

Well today is the day! Today is the day that the ex comes to town, the first time we are seeing each other since the break up over 2 months ago! This should be an interesting weekend and thats all ill say...

Wait ill say one more thing... his plane takes off in 30 mins and hes only getting to the airport now!! His less then punctual manner is the one stand out thing that drives me NUTS considering im so anally punctual!... *note to self - try and change him!* lol...

Have a crazy weekend bitches!

Creepy Stranger or Friendly Women?

2007-04-09T15:32:00.000-05:00

I was in Micheals this weekend minding my own business going through the wedding aisle (for my bro's wedding of course) checking things out when i hear..

Blond woman: "Excuse me where did you get your jacket?"
(thought she was just being friendly)
ME: "Oh from Jacob" *smiles*
Her: "Oh wow was it this season or??"
Me: "I think novemberish"
Her: "Cool, so is the shopping around here good?"
(at this point im thinking umm OOOk"
Me: "yeah its ok there are a few malls"
*she goes on to ask me more about shopping and my jacket*
Her: "So do you live around here?"
(WHAT??!! Who are you and why do you care where i live)
*I was in shock but for some reason found myself generally answering"
Me: "um somewhere around here ya"
Her: "Ahh cool so do you work around here then?"
Me: "no no about 15 mins away"
Her: "Are you in the fashion industry?"
*im in jeans and a sweater with my hair in a ponytail looking all of 19 yrs old*
Me: "um no"
Her: "well are you looking to get into marketing?"
(wth do fashion and marketing have to do with each other at this point?)
Me: "NO" (trying to end the conversation so i can get away from this crazy woman)
Her: "Oh ok well it was so nice seeing you again"

WTH!!! Again?? Do I know you? Are you stalking me? Were you hitting on me or trying to recruit me??

God the whole thing was disturbing and you know what my thought process was as i walked to the car??
All i kept thinking was OMG she was weird maybe she was trying to lure me in and then some man will kidnap me when i get to the car... I looked like a paranoid freak walking to the car looking over my shoulder 100x in the middle of the day!!!

Who does that?! She was so creepy and looked totally like some hick that would take me in her cold seller and chop me up... just thinking about it gives me the shivers...

Then i got home and started thinking... clearly they hadn't tried to kidnap me since i was now at home with the door double locked mind you, but why did the whole thing bother me so much? Maybe she was being friendly no? But what was with all the weird personal questions? And even if she had been trying to recruit me WHO does that so randomly in the middle of a craft store? I mean i was so in my zone, brain working thinking up all kinds of crafty ideas and shit and then this woman just ruined it!!

Clearly I need to stop watching so much dateline!!

2007-04-08T13:23:00.001-05:00

HAPPY EASTER TO ALL MY BITCHES!!! lol

When it Rains it Pours!!

2007-04-04T12:21:00.000-05:00

Thats what a very good friend said to me earlier today. its so true. It was funny for me to read QB say that once you have hit rock bottom, there is no way to go but up. in my situation it seems like im drilling through the rock and going deeper! lol..

its funny for me to sit here and bitch about my life. so much that has happened was just bad luck and then so much that has happened was because of my own stupidity. Its true what people say mistakes are made so that you can learn from them. but what a lot of people dont realize is that those mistakes can haunt you and stick with you for the long haul!

the religious thing with Mr. G. is over. it was the most painful and difficult thing that i had ever done in my life thus far. and im not exagerating. the worse part is that he called after all that to say "hi". at that point i just felt nothing. i cant be strong anymore. no im not going back, no im not reconciling but i just cant stop myself from answering that call. i need to recharge and im not given the chance to. at the end of the conversation, he said to me (after blaming me for everything as usual) "there is no point for us to talk!" like WTF obviously. my response was, "im not the one calling you or texting you and asking you to get together." friggin hypocrite. anyway we hung up he texted me the next day, i didnt respond and that was the end of it. no more communication, thus far...

work has been just ridiculous. a co-worker has gotten really sick and hasnt come in for the past month so guess who inherits her files. yes thats right its me! so now i have emotional baggage with severe work stress... i cant even be angry or mad at anyone because its not her fault she got an anurism. oh and the most recent thing, my family just found out im a smoker. lets just say the word "disaster" is a big understatement as to the reaction.

i mean ive tried to be positive. ive tried to be patient, but everything is working against me. or it feels like it. i agree with QB that time heals. but what about now. im just so frustrated with things and people. i find myself blowing up on small issues. i find myself seriously believing that today is tuesday when its wenesday. I have NO RECOLLECTION of monday. thats Seriously concerning to me... i need to get out of this deep deep hole.

im sad today but i pray to be better tomorrow...

When it Rains, it Pours!

Whats with 2007??

2007-04-04T11:28:00.000-05:00

You know when 2005 was ending i was SO glad and i really had it in my head that 2006 was going to be "my" year... yeah well lets just say the first half of 2006 was so shitty that i actually thought about moving away and leaving my life here behind... then in the middle of 2006 things got a wee bit better but that didn't last long, by the end of the year i found myself wondering why me a lot! Then I was really so sure that 2007 would be "the" year... yeah well its started off pretty shitty yet again but this time it wasn't just me!

It seems that so far 2007 hasn't been good to a lot of my friends as well... come to think of it problems actually started for all of us during the last few months of 2006 but anyway I really hope that this year gets better.. i mean it really cant get worse can it? Once you have hit rock bottom theres no where to go but up right? Things seem to be looking up for me slightly but its so hard to no worry about others close to you who are hurting so bad it makes even your heart break....

I wish i could move away, take them with me and start over but i know that wont solve anything... I wish i could wave my magic wand and heal all of our hearts,minds and bodies... I wish Dr.Phil would somehow magically come and help us deal with issues that seem so large and horrible we don't know where to begin to fix them ourselves...

Anyway im so sure that things will get better for all of us (you know who you guys are!) We have each other and our faith in something higher. So while we continue to ask ourselves why me we must remind ourselves that everything happens for a reason and this is all part of our path that will eventually lead us to the castle at the end of it!
*sigh*

April showers bring May flowers and an Engagement?!

2007-04-02T12:59:00.000-05:00

Well people its official... i am the last one to make the step to getting hitched! This past week my baby brother got engaged! While im more then happy for him and my soon to be sis in law (who i adore) i cant help but think...but but i was supposed to be first!! My older bro beat me to that about 9 years ago lol... but my baby bro?? bah i guess i should just thank my lucky stars that i haven't settled thus far huh lol...

Here's an update in case any of you have followed my break up.... yeah we are in talks to get back together and yes i am happy about this as ive seen change and feel that there is hope going forward.... God i hope im right!!!
Today makes it 9 months and counting... hmm am i supposed to count the 2 months we were broken up but talking??

I would also like to say cheers to a short week and a long ass weekend!!!

Am I a bad friend???

2007-03-30T08:21:00.000-05:00

is it really really bad of me if i decide to ditch out on one of my best friends b-day parties tonight?

i am so tired from my trip with QB (yep... still recovering.... im just sleep deprived now) and i have been working like a mad woman! i came to work this morning at 6:00am just to catch up. and not only that but i dont feel so hot and i still have to work all weekend too.
im supposed to dress up "old skool" and i still havent gone out to find anytinhg to wear. im so tired and jsut not in the mood to party. am i going to hell for ditching her????

oh and QB..... you will be glad to hear i didnt go out last night with the boy i met on the plane. He called me yesterday and asked me to do some thing after work but i didnt call him.... i just went home. i decided i dont need another boy calling me at 4am for booty calls. i gotta cut the ties early before anyone (mostly him) gets hurt.

back to work......

ITS TIME!!!

2007-03-29T16:09:00.000-05:00

So in less than one hour im meeting the ex to cancel our religious union!!! YIKES!! yes thats right, we werent only engaged, we had a whole ceremony that we now have to cancel. OH GOD IM SOOOOO NERVOUS!!! he actually emailed me a couple of times talking about stuff as if nothing was amiss, as if we arent gonna cancel one of the most important things that we thought we would do in life. I'm sitting here sweating like a damn marathon runner, and he is calm as a turtle... must stop heart from pounding so hard, any ideas??? ok hopefully things will go well. tonight is so symbolic to me in so many ways. its a goodbye to all the dreams i had for my life with him, a goodbye to the children who would call us their parents and a goodbye to any chance of reconcilliation. you know what's sad, it's that he doesnt get it. He doesnt understand the emotional bruise that tonight's ceremony will leave me with, he doesn't understand that i will never look at him and think, "my hero". I want that. No matter what i will not go back to him and the emotional abuse i went through with him. he doesnt get it because he thinks he did nothing wrong... I want to be able to look at the man I love and think that he is my saviour from my troubles and my stresses. Mr. G. just wasn't who he said he was. He was a great boyfriend but a TERRIBLE fiance and future husband. My bruise WILL heal, and I will get better, i just hope that I dont receive another bruise again...

wish me luck!

OK im back with stories...

2007-03-29T14:52:00.000-05:00

Well i said i would give you stories and so im going to try to remember all of my craziness from this Saturday, CB & BEB can add other things that i prob don't remember due to the # of shots taken :)

Ok so I being so cool decided that I was going to put in my hair extensions that I had bought but never used Saturday night. It looked HOT, I curled the ends and i was looking like a supastar until i got to the bar and all the curls fell despite the entire bottle of mega hold hairspray i put on it, and i was forced to keep my hair swept to the side all night long LOL... whatever it still looked damn good but now im seriously thinking about those Jessica Simpson 1 piece extensions...OMG so much easier then 4 pieces!!

We got to the bar late about midnight due to getting ready time and traffic. We figured we didnt have much time so we should start partyin asap. That plus the crowd were babies which didnt make us wanna stay sober.. Well a few shots later i was happier then a kid with a happy meal! I was chatting it up with pretty much the entire bar hehe... from what i remember (maybe cuz i saw pics after) I took it upon myself to lift up a few guys shirts and rub their tummies hehe.. i think i rubbed a few shaved heads (mind outta the gutter people) and even called one guy a porn star cuz his shirt said "pro star" and i was too messed to read straight!

At one point i was told i slapped the owner of the club and then proceeded to obtain his business card for future "hook ups" LOL... oh yes then i fell on the stairs and am now left with a massive bruise that kills :( hmmm oh yes i also made friends with a bartender named sandra and told her she was the cutest thing ive ever seen cuz she was so lil LOL...

As CB put it im Classic when im at that point of intoxified happiness!!!

Oh... good times hehe did I miss anything girls??

Oh the pain!!!

2007-03-26T15:24:00.000-05:00

So yeah BrownEyedBitch came to visit this weekend and we had a blast... I even have a HUGE bruise the size of my hand on my ass to prove it!!! :( I wanna cry it hurts so bad... do you think one of those butt donuts would help LOL....

Yes yes I am the QUEENbitch of falling!! Stairs + Drinks + Heels = Bruised butt :( hehe but it was worth it... oh the memories.. more stories to follow perhaps tomorrow :)

REALIZATIONS!!!

2007-03-26T10:36:00.000-05:00

You know what the worst thing in life is? It's realizing that everything you believed in the past was actually a lie! yep people, im back with the rantings of a scorned bitch!

So this is what happened to me last week!

The ex comes online and msgs me and instead of telling me nice things he starts off with saying things like, "I gave you everything, i did everything for you i, i, i...." meanwhile im thinking "what the frig was i, chopped liver! get over yourself man!" anyway, so when he is done telling me what an incredible guy he is, he says things which give the perception of him telling me that my family is well off and his is poor, therefore my family should have made MORE of a contribution into our home together!!! to which i respond "WHAT!" and then he is like, "oh its okay" the man is dillusional!! who the hell does that! he tries to twist it and say that i didnt trust him and so on. like are you kidding me, you are driving me insane! at this point im thinking GOLD DIGGER!!! so of course being classybitch i tell him and guess what the man says IM manipulative and logs off! so i do something not so classy, because i wasnt done bitching, i call the A-Hole. of course it goes to voice mail! so i leave a long drawn out msg of exactly what i think of him and this "business transaction" and hang the damn phone and of course being me, proceed to cry hysterically. I AM PATHETIC. how can i still care! the man has killed my insides and im still crying over him! He never even loved me the way I LOVED HIM! He was my world!

so anyway a couple days go by and on saturday guess who comes a-calling! yes, A-Hole himself. Lets call him Mr. Gemini, seeing as how that is his sign and he does have two faces.

Mr. G: What are you doing tonight?
CB: have a fam dinner and then going out with friends. why are you even asking.
Mr. G: Oh just wondering. having silly thoughts again!
CB: (No answer, Screw you silly thoughts!)
Mr. G: just thinking of you
CB: (No answer, A-Hole)
Mr. G: I miss you and I miss lying down with you
CB: You know what so do I, However too much has been said and i DONT TRUST YOU! so I dont want to see you...

and then i dont hear from him till the evening and he again says, "wanna get together?" my answer was No!! Like WTF!!! can we say Confused. i mean im trying to be strong... REALLY trying, but this is just cruel. You know what i want deep down? i wanna forget everything and have everything go back to the way it used to be when we first started to date! thats what i want. but reality is that its never gonna happen. im trying to be positive, but Mr. Gemini is making this friggin impossible. i cant deal with all these mind games and tempting suggestions of getting together and chilling! I WANNA CHILL WITH HIM, but i RESENT him so much... GRRRR!!!

I hate this, I've always tried to be good to people in my life, and i think ive done a pretty damn good job of it. I realize that this is a lesson in my life, but damn it i dont want any more schooling. i WANNA GRADUATE! I Pray i do soon, before i decide to drop out altogether! I wanna believe in a happy ending, but my life has been such a rolercoaster that im starting to think they dont exist...

Murphy's Law...

2007-03-22T09:09:00.000-05:00

The day you decide you cant be bothered to dress up for work because you are running late, so you throw on jeans, a sweater and tie your hair back.... you WILL see the ONLY hot guy in your building on the elevator and of course he will look dashing in his tan colored suit!!!!!!!!

Dear cutie with the suit on,
I know I looked like a young child today with my hair tied back and my running shoes on but I swear I can not only look my age (Im VERY legal btw ;)) when I dress up but also look somewhat attractive. Please keep this in mind next time you decide to take the elevator at the same time as me..
Thank you.

Sincerely,
Girl In The Elevator

Learn How To Park Rant!

2007-03-21T09:28:00.000-05:00

I came out of the grocery store the other day to find that someone had parked next to me which would have been fine except that they had parked on such an angle that their bumper was like 2 inches from mine... Grr I was so pissed that I felt the need to do something about it. I wanted to key their car or kick it or something but im really not that ballsy lol so instead I placed a nice piece of paper on their window that said "LEARN HOW TO PARK IDIOT!!!".... hehehe

Was this wrong??? I needed to vent and let them know that they suck :)

Here is your visual.. They were parked like the Ferrari only they had a huge suv!!

Sometimes I just hate people lol... Lesson for the day... even if you are just running into a store park straight that's all I ask!!

You know whats fun?

2007-03-20T14:48:00.000-05:00

Skipping off work for a few hours to take your 8yr old nephew to see Bridge to Terabithia!
I actually really enjoyed this movie and yes it even brought a tear or two to my eyes ;)

*FYI* BrownEyedBitch arrives in 2!!! Ready to party it up chicky?? ;)

Welcome to March 19th...

2007-03-19T10:41:00.000-05:00

Mid march and its snowing?! NICE welcome to Canada the best country in the world for more reasons then just our year-long snow days lol...

The GRRRRRrrreat news is that me and ClassyBitch are planning an all inclusive trip to Mexico baby!!! I cant wait, I so need out! Now i have decided i must learn Spanish... well at least the important phrases like "too expensive", "not too much rum" (they always try to kill me with the half rum half coke drink :|... & "please leave us extra towels" lol YES ppl these are the important phrases to know when travelling to an all inclusive resort.

For some reason you always start off with 4 bath towels, 4 face clothes and 2 hand towels but by the 3rd day you are down to 1 bath towel (for 2 ppl!) 3 face clothes and 0 hand towels... Do they really think anyone is tiny enough to dry themselves after a shower with an itty bitty face cloth? Grr... Even in you leave them tips the towels always disappear!

I haven't been to Mexico in ages so im super excited. I hear the day trips are amazing! And we are going in May so the weather should be perfect... I LOVE having something to look forward to heheh...

Hahaa So I googled Mexico Beach and this is what I got... ummm not really sure what to say except "OLE!!!" hahaha
....
...
..
.

LOL if this doesnt make your day I dont know what will... especially you ClassyBitch haha

...

2007-03-16T13:44:00.000-05:00

You know what really blows..... when you go out to a club and your the designated driver. now that normally isnt so bad and i have no problem taking turns being the DD. but this last weekend was different.... i'm on this very strict diet (ending today thank GOD!) and i cant have any alcohol or really eat any yummy foods either so needless to say i was already on edge.

my girls somehow talked me into going... we get to the club and i swear everyone in the place was so drunk they were falling over... or atleast falling on ME! i felt like i was being bumped into every second. the reason i really wanted to stay though was to see a certain boy (oh the things us girls do for men). so here i am... the only sober person in the joint, irritated as hell because i really want to eat a damn cheeseburger or SOMETHING, searching and searching for this special boy. i see his friend walking around i start to get excited. "he's just gotta be here... i know it"

30 minutes passes and he is no where to be seen and now my girls wanna ditch and go somewhere else. i say yes because my reason for going there obviously wasnt there and i was about to punch someone in the face if the bumped into me again!

so we leave to go meet up with our other friends.... we get back to my car to get a bunch of msgs saying they got kicked out of the bar because one of the guys they were with was being a jack ass. not only that but they are standing out side of the club that we just left!!! so we drive BACK to the club we were originally at... and they are apparently "at capacity" so we cant even get back in. i couldnt take it anymore so i went home.

4 am text msg from the boy i was searching for:

"where were you tonight? thought you were goin out. i was @ the club but i didnt see you"

he was there the whole freakin time!!

TGIF Bitches!!

2007-03-16T10:18:00.000-05:00

This morning I was leaving my house to head in to work when I was met by 2 really big dudes inches from my face..

Big dude #1: Excuse me are you leaving?
Me: Uhhhh... (I was half scared and half in shock as to why 2 strange big guys wanted to know if I was leaving my house) ye..yess WHY?
Big dude #2: Well we need to get in to your house.
Me: Umm (thinking WTF?!!) WHY?
Big dude #1: To check something on your balcony...
Me: OK *open up door and let them in*

OK Am i an idiot?!! Granted they did have cocking guns with them (teehee I said cock) but all handy men are supposed to be accompanied by the concierge and they werent... They finished up and as they left I was about to head downstairs to yell at that damn concierge when I saw him in the hall...

Me: *fuming*
Concierge: Hello there *big smiles*
Me: um hello...

God im such a wimp lol...

True story :)

Anyway its the weeeeeeeekend!! This weekend I begin my search for a new car YAY :)

Have a good one Bitches!

Dear yappy little dog...

2007-03-15T14:08:00.000-05:00

Dear little furry doggy that lives on the floor above me and barks all night long, you think you're funny eh? Barking non-stop from 11pm until 3 or 4am every freakin night... Yeah well bark it up you little mutt cuz im coming for ya REAL soon!!!

MuaHHahahahahahahahaha

:)

How does one...

2007-03-14T11:51:00.000-05:00

Get over the hurt and not hold resentment? I mean I seriously want to know how to just get over something and be able to give someone a fresh start... Is there a method to this madness?? I want to get over it, I really do but I just dont know how to force myself to do so just yet!

Hmm What to do...

2007-03-13T11:10:00.000-05:00

A text conversation between me and the ex went something like this...

Ex:I need help cleaning my closet wanna help?
Me:Why do you need my help?
Ex:Need you to tell me what i should keep or throw away.
Me: (no answer, cuz i didn't know what to say he lives like 3000 miles away)
Ex:So you comin?
Me:You gonna get me a ticket?! (totally joking, expecting a no!)
Ex:Would you come if I did?
Me:Maybe if i had somewhere to stay (he moves into his own place in june)
Ex:Hotel?
Me:Um sorry no money for that, tryna save for Europe!
Ex:What if i get it for you...

Ok so in a matter of 5 minutes ive managed to score pretty much a free vacation, so why am i sitting here debating if I should go or not? Well hes spent the last month and a bit trying to win me back... I don't know what kinda message it sends if I accept and go there. Number 1 I don't want to feel obligated or like I owe him anything cuz he is paying, number 2 shouldn't he come HERE if he wants to win me back? I thought about this a lot. I would love to get away, I could see family out there too and its FREE lol but I don't think that would be the right decision right now... SO I have told him id prefer it if he came here... It would be the same expense air and hotel... He agreed so now its just figuring out the logistics.. Yikes this is a wee bit scary...

Did I make the right decision? I can always take him up on his offer later no?

How can you love a man you hate??

2007-03-12T09:12:00.000-05:00

Why do I love you? I dont know... Here is what i do know, I dont respect you for not knowing the meaning of responsibility. I dont like you for being so cruel to me when you had me and after you gave me up. I resent you for not realizing what you have lost. I hate you for telling me you miss me. So I ask myself why do I love you... WHY??? I miss you SO much. last night I sat there and told you everything I needed you to know. I told you things that were tearing me up inside, so why do i still feel so shitty??? I should feel weightless and instead i only feel a heavy sense of depression. All I can do is pray that one day you will realize what you did, the mistakes you made, the things you lost. You say you are sorry, but I don't believe you, I dont trust you and I can't forgive you... I hate the man I love and that is heartbreaking...

TGIF!

2007-03-09T12:50:00.000-05:00

Yet again its been a tough week.... as some of you might have noticed I took down yesterdays post... I posted in anger and without knowing the facts... Not that things are that much better but I'm no longer as angry and felt that that post needed to come down so please no emails about it ;)

So the brick has now delayed my furniture until the END of march... OMG I need a dining table people!! Like its been 3 months and still no table grrr.. im gonna call today and see if i can cancel cuz this is nuts!

Its still so wintery out and its really starting to get to me now.. I need sun therapy i think. That damn ground hog grr.. sorry I'm still bitter about that haha. Seriously though can winter end already? Can we get some +1 weather? Can I please drive my car without wearing gloves? Can I please get a car wash without my damn doors freezing shut?!! This happened to me on Tuesday... YES I am that stupid! I got a car wash in -20 weather lol...

GRR bring on spring or a vacation!!

15 days and counting....

2007-03-07T15:48:00.000-05:00

i'm sitting here in my piles and piles of paperwork at my desk... counting down the days until i go on my lext little vacation. i will be visiting QB!!!!!! were gonna party it up!!!

i need it! and from the sound of it i think she does too

Why me?

2007-03-06T09:43:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I slept in; I was running late for work yet again! This time it was a bit different though. The day before as I was pulling into park my car at work and I went to go close my window, it was stuck! It was half way open and wouldn’t go up. It would go down but not back up! I had to call my dad and go over there after work for him to look at it but it was a Sunday night and all of the stores were closed or him to get the part he needed to fix it (which ended up costing me $250). So I had to leave my car with the window open over night so as I was driving to work it was freezing cold. Here I am looking like a fool wrapped in a scarf and hat and gloves driving with my damn window open. And then what happens….. I get pulled over for speeding! The officer was nice (for once) but I got a $124 ticket… all of this before 7:30am on a Monday!

Then I get to work and it was just downhill from there. I can’t even begin to explain it but let’s just say I was in the photocopy room doing work from 8:00am until 2:00pm… I barely got any other work done all day.

And then I think I lost my mind last night….. I have this huge awards show gala to go to next month for work and I asked this guy to go with me. I don’t know why on earth I asked him. I have been hanging out with him for about a year now but I really think he is boring and I couldn’t ever date him but I had the urge to ask him and said yes! And now he is all excited about going too. What have I gotten myself into?

I really need some Sleep!!!

2007-03-05T10:56:00.001-05:00

There is this damn dog on the floor above me that barks and barks and barks till 3 or 4am non-stop... I have called the concierge to check it out maybe 8 times in the month and a half that this has been going on but yet every night like clock work I hear it! I'm fed up and I need sleep so I've been told to write a letter the the building management and so that's what I'm going to do... it seems like these people leave this poor dog home alone all the time and so not only am I suffering that poor dog is too!

I'm so sleep deprived its not even funny :(

Jet Lag

2007-03-05T06:09:00.000-05:00

So you know what the worst thing about going on an international trip is? JET LAG!!!! its 6 am and i havent slept since 3! yep! ive been WIDE AWAKE!!! and what is worse is that i cant get my ex out of my head. yep jet lag and a failed relationship just dont go too well together. so here i am counting the minutes for it to turn 7 so i can get up and get on with my day. oh did i mention that i have to meet up with the ex to do tie up some loose ends in about 3 hours! yep GREAT!! and then i have a really important out of the office meeting for work!! GREATERRRR!!! yes grr. the joys of being a woman with jet lag and emotional issues. im so taking a sleeping pill tomorrow night. its too late for one now!

Classy Bitch - Not feeling too classy!

Karma?

2007-03-01T17:26:00.000-05:00

Why is it that on days when i feel like crap, and look like crap, i run into the finest looking man i have ever seen?
Of course they are customers that i have to meet with face to face too. i have talked to this guy on the phone and he didnt sound like anything special, but when he came in he was drop dead gorgeous! and not only that but he took possession of his brand new $350,000 home today too!! all mornign i was stressing out over work, i slept in so i didnt do my hair at all.... shoot im lucky i even had time to brush my teeth! i gotta be more prepared for these things......

i love my friends, but...

2007-03-01T11:19:00.000-05:00

Ooh, QB you've inspired my own mini-bitch rant.....

I hate it when friends try to set you up without even asking if you even want to be set up. I hate it even more if the dude's ugly because then you feel bad and yet justified with your superficial-self. As much as you love them, I hate it when friends think that they know better than you because they are in a couple, and "happy" in a couple, and think that YOU need to be in a couple too so you can be "happy". I hate people who insist that they have to have a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/whatever, and so they settle for a peice of shit, and then I have to hear about how he did "this" and he did "that", when really all I want to say is "dump his ass, you deserve a heck of a lot better than that". But then I hate making people feel bad when they can't take my honesty, even though deep down inside they know they believe it. I hate it when it's these friends who have shitty relationships that are the ones trying to tell you that you should be in one too.

Oh yeah - and I hate the bathroom at my office (speaking of ass smell from yesterdays post) because they never refill the auto air freshener, and the women in this building appear to be ... uh... pretty "regular". Maybe it's something in the water...

Thursday Bitchfest!!

2007-03-01T10:02:00.000-05:00

Today ill take the time to bitch about a number of topics... just more like random thoughts...so if you don't wanna hear it now is your chance to hit NEXT at the top there and switch to another blog probably written in french!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Why is it that whenever guys find out you are newly single they think they know what you need? No im not looking for someone to make out with, sleep with or cuddle with... Don't assume that I am in need... Im actually doing great on my own thanks and if I need YOU I will call YOU!! And asking to "see" my new place isn't very subtle either! Im not the sharpest tool in the shed boys but I sure as hell ain't the dullest....

Anyway I hate the fact that Tim Hortans only takes cash and all I have is ¢15 boo!! I hate +3 days that fool you into believing all this snow will melt and spring is on its way only to be followed by a blizzard the next day. I hate girls who wear colored underwear and white pants, NO it doesn't look HOT! I hate when you have a nail appointment at 5:30 and they make you sit there till 6, shit ladies I have places to go, people to see if im on time why cant you be! I hate when someone calls you at 3am and asks "are you sleeping?", ITS 3am on a Tuesday buddy hell YEAH im sleeping! I hate people who wear colored contacts, if your eyes are brown and you are wearing blue contacts I can TELL and it UGLY! Ill admit I had a pair of grey contacts when I was 15 but I was 15 and thought I was cool!! Geez why cant ppl be natural! I hate people who pick their nose when driving... WHY is this such a fascination? Why must I look over at a red light and see your finger digging away? and WHY are there so many of you that do this out there? save that shit for private cuz believe me when I say seeing you digging for treasure makes NOBODY's day! I hate girls who dye their hair white blond or platinum ... No you are not Christina, it looks faker than huge boobs on an Asian and yes you will be judged as a bimbo or porno star, but hey if that's the look you are going for then you are prob used to it! ............

Ok Im done for now.... If I have offended any of my readers with anything ive said.... well hey I warned ya!

Thursday Bitchfest continues....

Handy Men Who Stink...

2007-02-28T12:56:00.000-05:00

Is it me or do all handy men stink?! Or was it just my luck today?
Having moved into a new condo things are still being fixed that were on my PDI form so I got the call this morning that they wanted to fix my bathroom locks... I rush home and the men arrive... All of a sudden my condo smelled like poo! Was it me? Was it the garbage? I was so embarrassed to have these people over with a smell like this but wait ... me or my house has never smelled like anything other then roses :) As I approached the area the man was working I get a whiff of what was sure to make me pass out if I had stood there any longer! The thing is it wasn't just a B.O smell or anything it was like he had rolled around in dog crap and let it dry before he came to work! I really don't know how the other guy there (the project manager for the building) stood by this stinky mans side all day! Poor him... and now poor me.. its ok I left a window open to air his stank out before I arrive home tonight ;)

P-U Mister take a shower and put on some cologne before you head to work!

I have to do it....

2007-02-27T14:10:00.000-05:00

I gotta bitch about myself today.

sometimes i just dont think. not only did i go out and get absouletly SMASHED on friday, i did it with a bunch of people from work, including the guy that i asked to a movie and got NO RESPONSE from. i spent more than half the night talking to him and can only remember 5 minutes of conversation!
THEN after that..... his best friend/ roommate drove me home and i bitched and complained about him (guy fromwork) the whole drive home!! i went off too...... i told him that he wasnt that great and i would get over him in a second, and that apparently he doesnt have any balls because he couldnt write me back to give me an answer. im sure he went back and told his roommate how crazy i am, but i got how i felt off my chest so it kinda feels good.

now as for the next morning..... i wasnt feeling so hot. all those shots of tequila caught up with me and what did i have to do all day???? PEDICURES!!!! yep, you read it right..... hung over me had to get up and work and do 6 pedicures in a row. i had to deal with feet while i wanted to throw up. I was well aware the night before that i had to do these pedicures as well.

some days i think im grown now and i have learned my lesson but then nights like this come around and apparently i havent!!!

You know what Sucks??

2007-02-27T13:52:00.000-05:00

Passport offices! 3 Hour wait for a 5 minute transaction!! Grr... Such a dumb rule that you cant travel within 6 months of your passport expiring... like WTH... there's gotta be an easier way to renew this shit!

Here's a random thought....
How do leap year babies celebrate their birthday? I mean do they do it on Feb 28 or march 1? and wouldn't it just get so confusing? It would suck, people would totally forget your bday cuz they can only write it in their calenders every 4 years .... LOL...

yeah ok don't ask!

Weekend Highlights!

2007-02-26T13:14:00.000-05:00

This weekend was SO strange!
Friday Sushi was GREAT! Just what I needed so no complaints there :)

Saturday however was odd to say the least! The day started out great, we hit the mall which is always nice, bought a pair of sexy pumps, had my bubble tea fix and ran into some old school friends. After the mall I headed home I got all dolled up for my night out with the bitches! We finally decided on a place for dinner and when we got there we were seated right in front of the window, which is fine except that we were in downtown right along the busiest street with the most foot traffic and weirdos ever!

Lets see there was the guy who passed by and then passed by the other way so he could get another look, so me being me mouth the words "what? can i help you" in a stop looking at us loser kinda way lol... yeah he didn't really love that so he stopped dead in his tracks and stared at me trying to get my attention for the next 5 minutes only I didn't give him the time of day.. I really thought he was gonna come in the joint and kick my ass and I so wasn't prepared for that lol...

Then there was the girl who stood there pointing at one of my friends, but its ok it turns out she knew this chick so that went from weird to ok lol...

Oh but the kicker was this 60ish year old, grey haired guy who appeared normal. See we thought he was simply admiring our yummy food but when he stood there for 2 minutes we kinda looked at him like ok get the F&%^& on buddy... Thats when he became CRAZY!! He started waving his hands around and out of NO where he starts making this motion that was basically like he was jerking off!!!!!! Can you believe this?! We were in shock so I yelled EWWW and the table next to us was like what the hell is that guy doing??... I looked away so that he would move on but my gf's kept staring at him LOL they were fascinated by this random old guy who was more then likely turned on by the food then us lol... or maybe it was the combo of us with the food lol... either way it was freakin nasty yet strangely amusing all at the same time!

After we headed to the salsa club where we were forced to pay $14 cover... which for a normal club is high let alone a freakin salsa club where none of us wanted to be in the first place! So we get inside and well there is this one chick who is a friend of a friend who is in LOVE with me... im not even lying she tried to fully make out with me in December, thank god im stronger then her and managed to get out of her grip lol... she was tame this weekend only at one point she slapped my butt then proceeded to tell me she was sexually harassing me LOL... shes a weirdo but then again the whole night was weird.. oh and the club sucked ass... it was full of short, ugly, badly dressed men and random drunken sluts!

Sunday the oscars party didn't happen cuz it started to snow like mad! So I watched half of it all by my lonesome in my jammies then headed to bed cuz it got too boring lol....

AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

2007-02-23T18:15:00.000-05:00

4:30........................... still waiting.

If a sales administrator shoots a customer when there is no one around the office..... is it still considered a crime????????

Customers.........

2007-02-23T18:08:00.000-05:00

ok... so its friday at 4:09..... i am WAITING for customers who are late for their meeting with me.... over an hour late!!!!
i came into work at 6:30 this morning, i dont start until 7:30... i work til 4:00 and its now 4:10... yep still here waiting!!

i havent taken a lunch break, or eaten a damn thing all day because all day i have been bending over backwards for VP's, GM's, and customers.

YA I AM PISSED OFF!!!
i came in early so i could leave early or atleast on time!!!! why am i so nice... anyone else would have said "no sorry i leave at 4:00". i cant seem to do that though. i can bear to not give these customers keys to their new house and make them wait all weekend.

god, i cant wait for that Martini tonight...... better make it 8 martinis!!!!

2007-02-23T13:49:00.000-05:00

Yay today is the day!! Sushi day lol...

Ok so tomorrow ive been invited to a birthday at a salsa club... yeah i dont know the first thing about salsa dancing, wish I did (one day I may) but I dont! The thing is that I have to show face cuz its for someone in my extended circle of friends but what I dont get is why this person would choose to have their birthday in a salsa club when like 90% of the friends who are attending dont salsa?! Everyone has been bitching about this party for 2 weeks now and no one wants to go but yet we all have to cuz none of us want to "look" bad...

Me being the QueenBitch was all about bailing on the whole night all together, no feeling bad here.... I was however talked into it with this line..." we wont stay long I promise".... WHY do I fall for this line every single time? I mean to me not staying long means 30 mins to an hour, but for some reason no one else goes by those time lines so I expect Ill be staying at least 3 hours yay!

Theres nothing like being pulled onto a packed dance floor by a sweaty, balding, strange man who whips you around and around that you eventually spin your way off the dance floor all together! *true story* Should be goodtimes! Im going to take my camera so I can keep busy and not be harassed.

Sunday im doing the newbody class again. Maybe this time ill actually be able to follow the instructor! Then its an full blown Oscar's party at my place! Normally I never watch these things (not in its entirety anyway) cuz they are so damn boring but this year I think it will be fun to have the girls over, munch on popcorn (hopefully this time I wont blow it up), critique the fashions and yell at the tv!

Have a great weekend Bitches!

QueenB ;)

Is It wrong...

2007-02-22T10:59:00.000-05:00

That the guy at the Sushi place greets me in a "ahhhh you again" type of fashion?! WhAt?? I happen to have a love affair with sushi that's all... MmMmMm dynamite rolls... omg I think I fully just drooled...
Here is a pretty accurgate picture of me eating sushi...

OMG I neeeeed these PJ's by David & Goliath

Ok ok maybe I'm going too far now.... *sigh* I'm just excited for my sushi outing tomorrow and PunkBitch you better not back out!!

Brick Delays Poker, Cats not so bad, Body Still Hurts!

2007-02-21T10:00:00.000-05:00

(rant)
Why I Hate You Brick Furniture...
I bought my dining table, coffee table and 4 ottomans from you January 4th... It is now Feb 21 and I have yet to receive my furniture. I called to see what the hold up was last week and you told me the pieces would be in Feb 16th and someone would call me, when no one called I called you again and now you tell me they wont be in until the end of Feb!!!!! You give me a new date every time I call and quite frankly im getting pissed off! I want my damn dining table so I can start my all girls poker night damnit!

Damn You Brick Damn You!!
(/rant)

So now that I got that outta my system I can move on... This morning I went over and fed the cats and gave them water... yeah ok so it wasnt so bad even for me a total germaphobe! I havent attempted the litter yet as I was running late but tonight I'll have to tackle it... I figure if I hold my breath I should be fine LOL... The boys are so cute though awe how can you not love em! I only have a pic of one of them but how cute is this crazy guy...

Anyway so yeah I did the Newbody class last night and it was great however besides being uncoordinated most of the time since I havent been to that class in a while, me being..... well ME totally bashed one of the hand weights into my thumb while doing some dance cross over move thingy and now it kinda hurts... god im such a dork LOL... Oh well I havent given up due to my lack of timing or rythem just yet, I WILL get the hang of this one day lol.... also im in pain in spots that are so deeply hidden that I forget they Exsisted! Yikes... *note to self - STRETCH!*

The Condo Smells, My Body Hurts & 2 Damn Cats!

2007-02-20T10:13:00.000-05:00

Ok so there was no luck at getting the burnt popcorn/smoke smell outta my condo but I did realize that after 5 minutes your nose gets used to the smell and its not so bad anymore... well Im telling myself that anyway!

Finally got my ass to the gym last night and was introduced to Body Pump by my girl... OMG what was I thinking?! My arms are killing me and walking up the stairs this morning was torture... mid way through the class I looked over at her and gave her a real evil look only to see that she was dying as well so i didn't feel so bad! Tonight is NEWBODY which ive done before and really like but despite the torture last night im thinking about trying BodyPump again, am I crazy?! What? I need muscles!

In other news my brother is leaving town for a few days and has asked me to take care of his kitties... yes there are 2 little fur balls... Ok yeah so im allergic to cats and although they are the cutest little things they make me itch all over my face... Im not sure why its only on my face though.... Also this task will require me to change kitty litter... yeah im WAY too bitchy to even want to go near kitty litter let alone poop and scoop it ew.... Suck it up QB suck it up.... Now I know why i have no pets and will never have any pets for as long as I live... They are so much cuter when they belong to someone else lol...

Now get back to work people!...

I just wanted some Popcorn and a Parking spot Damnit!!

2007-02-19T09:56:00.000-05:00

This weekend was so random! For the life of me i cant remember Friday but Saturday night was pure jokes went for dinner and then to a lame party and then to a bar but Sunday was my day of excitement!...

I was visiting a friend who just moved downtown, i enter the visitor lot to park and this woman is running back to her car to slip in her visitor pass. This woman had parked pretty much in 2 spots like a total moron so i roll down my window and say "excuse me but can you straighten out your car so i can park here?" keep in mind the lot was full so i had no other choice... she stares at me and says "park over there" pointing to a spot the size of a mini cooper .... I respond with "that spots way too small"... she stares at me and then without any answer or anything she runs away.... WHO DOES THAT?!! What a freakin bitch... I was so ready to bitch her out when i came into the building but of course she wasn't there... hmph stupid bitch learn how to park!

When i finally arrived home i decided i wanted some popcorn... Good idea right?? Normally yes, so i placed the bag in the micro and pressed the handy popcorn button and start... I go back to watching Apprentice and the micro beeps so at the commercial break i head to the kitchen to get my popcorn when i spot tons of smoke. Now i started to freak out a bit not because i had ignited a freakin fire in my brand new condo but because i didn't want the fire alarm to go off... I open the microwave door and a gust of smoke pops out, i start to cough and my eyes are burning... what to do what to do.... I run over and grab a towel and like a mad woman start fanning the fire alarm... then i run over and open my balcony door praying the piercing alarm doesn't sound... well needless to say after about half an hour of frantic fanning all was under control and the alarm didnt go off so i was pleased... until i saw inside the microwave that is! It was black... i tried to scrub it and it wasnt coming off but then i whipped out the Mr Clean Magic Eraser and that did the trick i swear that thing rocks...

Once i cleaned up and tossed the popcorn i headed to bed... I kept waking up during the night because my bedroom smelled like smoke... I hate the smell of smoke... ARGH... I realized my entire suite smelled like nasty smoke and burnt popcorn! Ive left a window open so hopefully it will air out by tonight.. DAMN popcorn, Damn microwave, Damn popcorn button... I swear ONLY ME!!

TGIF!

2007-02-16T10:49:00.000-05:00

Once again ladies and gents we have come to the end of a very exhausting week and all I have to say to that is THANK tha Lord!

May I Present the TGIF Girls!

Im sorry but do they not remind you of the Golden Girls?....

Why at the age of 18 was I so into a damn show about senior women?!! LOL Don't ask me to sing the theme song cuz I can and I will ....

Oh god help me...

Stupid Love Day....

2007-02-15T13:48:00.000-05:00

My Valentines day was interesting to say the least......
i didnt get roses or chocolates from any boys...no that would be too typical. i did however get absolutely smashed with my single room mate and a good friend (also single) last night. so drunk in fact that i slept through my alarm this morning, got to work over an hour and a half late to find out that i am training a student form a work exchange program all morning. LOVELY!

oh and then on top of it, i have this guy friend who i have known for a long time now. my roommate always says that he and i should date because we would make a cute couple. i see him as a good friend right now and who knows if it would turn into anything more someday. well this guy friend came by for a bit last night too... and what ended up happening you ask?????? did i drunkenly make out with him? did i do something dumb?
NOPE... not quite what happened. he ended up making out with my roommate all night... yes... you heard right.... the roommate that wants me to date him!! AWKWARD!!

valentines day sucks. and now im hung over at work.

Some Valentine!!

2007-02-15T11:53:00.000-05:00

Open letter to the ex....

Dear MrEx
Thanks for the very pretty Valentines day flowers I appreciate them and they made me feel special but it doesn't make me forget everything that happened... my memory isn't that bad! Also the 3am phone call, where you cried for me to give you another chance and not to date anyone else was so uncalled for. Not only did it take me forever to fall asleep last night in the first place but then you called and after we hung up I could not go back to sleep for an hour and now im cranky, tired, emotionally drained, have a headache and look like shit..... And my answer is still NO...

Sincerely
QueenBitch